IHHM

I finished the Iron Horse Half Marathon. Rather, I survived it.

I don't know if I can put my body through this again. I just don't know. Once upon a time, I was considering a marathon...just thinking about it, looked at a few races, nothing definite. I don't know if I could do that, if my body doesn't like me after 13.1 miles, it would surely HATE me after 26.2, right?

Anyway, back to the race.

Lady who was watching the kids was late. I was worried that I wouldn't make it in time for pictures, I'd make it in plenty of time for the race itself...but was worried about the picture. Go figure. I sent Jaime a text asking if I could bum some energy gels from her, didn't think I'd have time to stop at the store, but she had already left the house. I ran into Kroger and ran right out. I got to Midway only 5 minutes later than I had originally wanted. Parked at the college and walked down Stephens Street. Tried not to have PTSD about the school (got my nursing degree there). Kept trying to call Jaime. She didn't answer. Tried to think of any other numbers I had. Jenny, I had Jenny's number. Called her. Got to the meeting place. Group picture. Went the bathroom.

We all walked to the race start like a posse, it was pretty awesome looking at the picture. Got there, we took more pictures. I turned my Garmin on. It didn't work. I freakishly pull out my phone and start downloading RunKeeper to my phone. I had to have SOME kind of record of this. It didn't fully download and start until about 2-3tenths into the race. But it was better than nothing.

In some ways this felt like a remake of RTB. I start out with a running buddy, then part way through...I get hurt and have to tell them to keep going without me. I don't know what I would have done without LaTanya. She is pretty damn amazing. The first 5-6 miles were pretty easy. We kept trying to keep our pace under a 14 min/mile so as not to get kicked off the course at mile 7. However, the pacer never seemed to appear. Others swear they saw her, but I never did. When we got to the turn around at mile 4, my friend Jodi was there with her husband and kids. She dragged them out of the house just to come see me for a few minutes. That meant the world to me.

At mile 6.5, there was the Strider station, we'd passed them going out...but didn't talk much. Keith stopped me and asked how I was doing. I answered rough. My knee was starting to hurt a little. More sore than outright pain. We got to mile 7 without being kicked off the course. It was after this I really started to struggle and the distance between me and LaTanya got larger. I told her to go on without me, she refused...said she wouldn't leave me. Finally about mile 9 after we hit the LexRunLadies station (and the porta potty where I peed myself before I could even sit. damn), we started out again together, but I hurt too much.  At mile 10.5 I saw my friend Leah, she was manning a different water station. She gave me a bottle of water. Right after that, I saw Ann! She told me I was almost to the turn around. Then I saw Casey who told me just two more turns after we joked about amputating my knee and her below the waist. Got to love a fellow nurse. Made it to the turn around, joked with the lady who was standing there. Kept on going. Saw someone running toward me and it was Leah again. She ran with me about a half mile before she had to go back to her water station. at mile 11, I really wanted to just give up...but kept telling myself, "only 2 more miles, only 2 more miles." I honestly don't know how I made it to the last part. I told myself when I hit the main entrance of Midway College, I would start running again since I knew it was about 2/10 of a mile from the finish. When I got to the entrance, I saw more people running toward me. It was Jenny and Brooke! They came to find me after LaTanya had finished and told me I was having knee problems. They ran back with me. There was a guy with a Greek Festival shirt on, at the beginning of the race I told LaTanya that I was going to beat him. He started to get ahead of me. Once we hit the turn to the finish, I booked it and sprinted to the finish.

Krissie, Nathan, Jaime, Steve, Kelly, DJ, and whoever else was still hanging around made a human tunnel for me to run through. It was amazing.

Compared to RunTheBluegrass where there really wasn't anyone at the finish for me (Krissie and Nathan were cheering at the end), and Jenny waited just for me to finish. To have my buddies, waiting over 1-1.5 hrs to see me finish. I wanted to bawl. It took everything in me not to bawl.

I finished. I survived. I even PR'd. Final time 3:23:32. Finished 999 out of 1001. Not dead last, but pretty freaking close.

random after midnight posting

blah blah blah, I know, I know...I'm a blogging slacker. I did state in my first entry that I stink at this, right? Life has been fairly dull around these parts lately. Kids have been keeping me busy. Other than that these are the highlights:

• I started back to school this week to get my BSN. I reeeeaaaaally wasn't ready to go back, but it seems to be a necessity to get any job. I'm attending Indiana Wesleyan where I got my first Bachelor's degree. It seems to be the quickest means to the end since I have all their gen ed classes out of the way. I'm not looking forward to having more school loans, however. First week of assignments doesn't seem too bad. I'm already wanting to wash my eyes out with soap in regards to one person's writing. It is horrid. Ah well, maybe this course will help her learn more academic writing?
• I had an interview this past Monday (9th) with the local health department. If there were a job out there that were perfect for me? This would be it. If you're the praying sort, prayers appreciated. I'm supposed to have an answer by tomorrow. Believe me, if I am hired...I will be screaming it ALL over the interwebs.
• Son #1 turned 8. There is no way I am old enough to have an 8 year old. I mean, its physically possible as I am 29 years old. But still...where did the time go? How is he 8 already? He has grown into such a lovely child, he always was my easy going one. He has gotten so much taller, I think he's already only 8 inches shorter than me. Which isn't hard, I'm only 5' tall. Sigh. I think I have maybe 2 years tops before he is taller. 
• The Iron Horse Half Marathon is this Sunday. THIS Sunday. I know I can do it. Deep down in my soul, I know I can. But I am scared shitless. My knee decided to be crappy to me back in September. I've spent the last week and a half ill with either a nasty cold or upper respiratory gunk. Add in the allergies before that. My training for the last month and a half has been slim to none. I'm nervous about the time cutoff. That the pacer will end up in front of me. 
• Tomorrow is the LexRunLadies anniversary. I remember hearing about this group last year right after it was created, at a get together to watch some running movies prior to the Marshall Marathon (and half). I don't know why it took me so long to get involved, but I am so glad I did. Love you ladies (and dudes)! Cannot wait to eat, drink, and gab with you all tomorrow night! 

and thus ends tonight's ramblings. maybe I will be back tomorrow with good news? if not, I shall return with news of the Iron Horse.

jealousy and depression

So now that my ex-husband has gone, I'm left with not being able to run with friends anymore. They plan their runs. I see their pictures and I'm completely jealous that I'm not out there with them. The pain in my knee isn't helping any either. I miss my friends. All I have of them is on Facebook and Twitter and even that seems to have dwindled.

Between not seeing my friends and not having a job still, a smidge of depression has set in. I've gone back to my old comfort eating. I gained back about 5 lbs that I'd lost.

If my knee doesn't start feeling better, I don't know what I'll do. The mornings that I run are the only thing I have for me lately. The only thing. I can't lose that.

wise words from Bart Yasso

I just finished reading "My Life on the Run" by Bart Yasso

Here is one passage that really stuck out to me:

If you don't feel welcomed in a sport or a job or a family, you don't stick around. Running is about acceptance - of yourself and others. When you're out on the trail sweating, it doesn't matter if the guy or gal next to you works at a fast-food joint or is CEO of Kellogg's. It doesn't matter what color they are, or how old they are, or what religion they practice, if any at all. 

Running celebrates our commonality. Are we human because we can run on two feet, or does running make us human? I know I feel more like myself when I run, even if it's only a few miles, or at least I feel like the self I like best. Running inspires creativity, relieves stress, and gives us insight into ourselves and the world, making the human condition more tolerable.

But it is not enough to confine these benefits to ourselves. As runners, we each have a duty to accept the role as mentor to a slower runner or a new runner or someone who doesn't think he or she can walk around the block, let alone finish a 5k.  Remember, we're not some members of a snooty, noses-in-the-air fraternity. We are runners! So let's spread the message. can you imagine how grand the planet would be if everyone were a runner? Obesity? Not a problem. Depression? Never heard of it. Sluggishness? Get the hell out. 

Shakespeare go it wrong when he wrote "To sleep: perchance to dream." We run to dream, with our subconscious thoughts shaping the path of our lives. 

It has been just over a year since I started running with a group. The first run, I was paired with some that ran my pace. However, after that...I was kind of left on my own. For every single run. I felt alone. I chalked it up to me just being much slower than the rest. I guess, in some ways, it is a miracle that I continued running.

After reading this, it has sealed my resolve to help other new runners feel welcome. I may not be able to keep up with them, but I can welcome them and make them feel like they fit in.

be prepared...

I've spent quite a bit of time lately listening to Disney songs on CD. One feature I love about my van (yes, there is something I love), is the 10 disc CD player. I can't begin to remember when I last listened to CD's regularly. I think I need to dig up some of my old CD's so I can start singing some Phantom of the Opera and my kids can groan in the back, just as much as I groan when I have to listen to "Can you feel the love tonight" one more time because they enjoy listening to Pumba and Timon cry at the end. Another of the songs they've enjoyed listening to is "be prepared" from Lion King.

The time off this last week has had me wondering if I will be prepared for Iron Horse. I don't know if I'll get any longer runs in. Someone suggested focusing on some shorter, more intense runs...to build up my overall running fitness as an alternative to just running really slow longer runs. In a way it makes sense. I guess I'll shoot for that.

But I still worry.

The run I probably should have quit

Tuesday's run was my long run for the week. I had 8 miles scheduled. I plotted a map on Garmin. Sent the course to my watch. Because of the problems with losing the course last week, I made a cheat sheet of turns in case my watch steered me wrong. Which did happen. I was thankful for it later on. I wore my running clothes to the bus stop. Got the kids on their buses. Went back home for my shoes, compression sleeve, and water. I got out the door right at 7:30. I allotted myself 2 hours, but was hoping to finish in 1:52:00, the same time I had done almost two weeks ago. Again, trying more for consistency in time than in running faster. I'm going by the moving time on Garmin Connect, because I had to stop a few times to figure out which way I was going. Looking back at the moving time, I have negative splits for most of the miles. Woot!

Mile 0-1: Felt pretty good, walked a little to start, then had to stop and wait to cross the main road about a quarter mile in. Completed in 14:20, a little slower than I wanted...but not too shabby.

Mile 1-2: Until mile 1.5, when my knee twinged a little...I was feeling good. Walked a short bit to see how my knee was, felt okay so I went back to running. completed in 14:20 yet again.

Mile 2-3: Feeling good, very hilly part of my run. Completed in 14:17.

Mile 3-4: Knee started hurting a bit again, but not enough to make me quit. Just more sore than anything. Still  on the hilly part of the run. Completed in 14:02.

Mile 4-5: Felt amazing. Best part of the run by far. Completed in 14:10

Mile 5-6: Still doing awesome. Completed in 13:57.

Mile 6-7: Knee hurt a bit at mile 6 again. Yet, still not enough to make me quit, just sore. Completed in 13:45.

Mile 7-8: I was close enough to home at the beginning of mile 7 that I could have gone home in about a quarter mile. But I was determined to get my 8 in. Just shortly after, I experienced a sharp stabbing pain in my left calf (right one was the one injured back in May/June). I walked a little, then decided I wanted to get home a bit quicker while still getting my mileage in...so started jogging very slowly, but faster than a walk. Yet again, I'm still close enough to get home quickly by cutting through a field. I decide to stick it out. I have a bit of pain the next half a mile. I hit my house at 7.75 miles, but STILL want to get my mileage in. So, I ran down the sidewalk and experienced the sharp stabbing pain again. I hobble back to the house. Completed the last mile in 16:55.

As a nurse and as someone who as a degree in athletic training as well, I knew better than to keep going once I got that first stabbing pain. I knew it, but chose to ignore it. The rest of the day I could barely walk. I ended up taking a leftover percocet that night so I could even sleep. Yesterday, was not much better. I woke up last night because it hurt so bad. I did spend quite a bit of time icing, stretching, and foam rolling. Thank goodness its starting to help. My knee still feels off. My calf is extremely tight.

I've decided to give myself at least a week off. With more icing, stretching, foam rolling and ibuprofen. I'll try a 2-3 mile jog on Tuesday and see how it feels. Then, go from there. I'm trying to be smart. I don't want to put myself in the position I did the last time when I had to take almost a month off from running. Iron Horse is  just a little over 5 weeks away. I have a good base mileage. I know I can run 13.1 miles. I was planning to do a 12 miler next week, but I'll push that off another week...pending how my leg is feeling. I'm hoping to get at least one more longer run in, but if I don't...I don't.

Labor Day 5 mile virtual run

I'm not even sure how I found out about this virtual race, but seeing as how my budget is limited of late...virtual races are where its at for me! I had 5 miles on my schedule anyway, so decided to do Mommy, Run Fast's Labor Day 5 or 10 mile virtual run.

I had to complete my run on Friday, so Thursday night found me plotting a 5 mile course for my Garmin. I'd never used the feature of having the watch tell me which direction to go before...so it was an adventure I was willing to risk, since I'd also never run 5 miles near my house either. Anything over 3 miles, usually has me driving somewhere. I didn't have time for that on Friday since my girl child got on the bus at 7:15, and I had to be at my chiropractor's office at 9:00. Not a lot of leeway, there was also consideration of stopping my run at the chiropractors, but thought better of having him work on me after I'd just finished running without having showered first. So, the course. I decided to wander through a neighborhood I'd only driven through. In hindsight, I should have just plotted an out and back. Those I can handle just fine, at least until I learn the neighborhoods.

I also ran 6 miles later Thursday night, so my legs were anything but fresh. My goal lately is just to keep consistent times for my mileage. I'm not worried so much about speed, though that is a goal for after my next half marathon.

Got up, got the kids on their respective buses. Girl's bus was a few minutes late. Again, now I know for future reference to have my running stuff on when going to the bus stop, so it doesn't hold me up. Went back to the house quick, got changed and went on my way. I love my Garmin. I do not love the course feature. Or maybe it takes some getting used to? I hated having to look at my watch to make sure I didn't miss a turn. Then it told me I got off course. I said screw it and just took a route that I knew would get me back to the house with the miles I had left. It was rather fun watching all the middle school and high school kids waiting for the bus...also wonder what they were thinking/saying after I went by. Maybe I'll avoid those neighborhoods during bus pick up for future reference. I got home with about 10 minutes to get showered, dressed, and in the van. Thankfully my chiropractor is literally a 2 minute drive. I was a little late, but I'd rather be late than stinky.

This was my first longer distance school day run, the only other one I did was 3 miles. I need to become more consistent in my timing so that I can plan my running better for school days. I also need to figure out a better way to plan my routes in this area I've not run much in without going on the main roads.

My goal was to finish about 1:10:00, so a little slower than wanted...but can't complain. I had to stop and figure out which way to go a few times. I'm trying to keep under 14 min/miles due to a race cut off time for the half in a few weeks. I was able to do that for my last 8.5 miler, so I know its possible. Just working on it.

1	13:34.7	1.00	13:35
2	14:07.2	1.00	14:07
3	15:38.3	1.00	15:38
4	14:41.4	1.00	14:41
5	15:13.8	1.00	15:14