down for the count

well, at least for the next almost 4 weeks.

finally sucked it up and went to the doctor this past Thursday. after a LOT of badgering and harassing by friends. I am glad I went. kind of .

I saw a new doctor as well as her resident. I "knew" them from my old job at the hospital, but didn't know them personally. I was very happy with the care I received.

Anyway, they gave me a preliminary diagnosis of Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome, which is also known as Runner's Knee. fun, eh? what this means...

• no running until my recheck, but at least 6 weeks minimum. 
• no high heels (not that I wear them that often, but need to this week...of course)
• PT consult on Dec 3rd (chose to go to the PT attached to the hospital I used to work at, so at least I know who is treating me, always nice to see friends)
• ice/naproxen regularly. even if I'm not in pain, which the times that I have no pain are far less than the times I am in pain. 
• recheck with the Dr. on Dec 13th. 
• if I am still in pain, no changes...then I'll be scheduled for an MRI

so that's that.  this will suck. I was hoping to do the Thanksgiving 5k, since my parents will be visiting. but maybe I'll go cheer instead.

as for how I feel, physically. it hurts like hell. starting on Sunday/Monday I've been in almost constant pain.  Thursday and Friday were pure misery. I'd have my pain at a 5-6/10 on the pain scale. I took ibuprofen, that didn't work I took naproxen, that didn't work. Though thankfully, starting to help a little.

I cannot walk around a lot. I can't drive long distances. I dug out my crutches as a "just in case" thing. had to use them a little today, if that gives any indication as to how much it hurts.

it shall be a long 4-6 weeks...

Running Goals

my goals for the next year...

5k- 29:59
10k- 1:10:00
Half- 2:30:00
Full- no ambitions for one at this time, if (big IF!) I do one in the next year, goal will be to finish

more late night ramblings

I didn't want to run again after Iron Horse. There. I said it. I had no desire. I told my best friend that I was considering giving it up. It wasn't fun for me anymore. She told me to wait a little and see how I felt in a week or two.

I ended up making myself go out for a run. In the end, it was a rather humorous run. For some unknown reason I wore regular mesh shorts to run in. I never wear those for running, at least not unless I have bike shorts or something else under. I also happened to be wearing one of the oldest pairs of underwear I own. I started running, my underwear slipped down. I continue running, it keeps slipping down. Rinse and repeat until I got to the most secluded part of my run. Which really isn't secluded, just not much traffic. I stood behind a telephone pole and got them off. Stuffed in my bra and went on my way.

It wasn't t the best run I've ever had. It wasn't the worst either. It was just blah. It did not leave me desiring to run again.  But I made myself go back out the next day. That was better...and the day after that a little better.

I'm trying to get back to loving running. I don't know what happened. Maybe I was doing it for someone else. Because I thought, perhaps, that I was only friends with some people because we were all runners. Since I wasn't able to run with them like I was before, I didn't see them. Even now, I still feel that way a little bit. Running brought us all together and if I'm not there, it feels like the friendship isn't there. The closeness that I felt.

I'm trying to get some consistency in my pace. I'm starting out with low mileage again. The furthest I've gone in the last 3 weeks is 2.46 (this morning). I've been running the same route at home. Varying run/walk intervals to find out what works best. I want to be able to run a similar pace at 2ish miles that I can keep at least up to 7ish miles. I figure I'll keep running the same distance for awhile until I can get there. I have no races I've paid for, so no real plan.

I would like to do another half marathon. Someday. But, I want to be able to know I can finish in the time I want. I don't want to do it until I can be consistent in my pacing and training. Right now, that option isn't there for me.

I've realized in the last few days that I've missed being a homebody. When my ex was in the country, I had to leave the house at least two nights a week minimum. If the kids had an activity, I'd be out more than that. Now that I'm mostly housebound, except for whatever activities the kids have (which aren't many), I find I'm enjoying my time alone at night. I've been watching some of my old favorite movies. I've been doing homework.

So that's it for now. Still unemployed. Still running. Learning to enjoy every moment with my kids. I've taken them for granted sometimes. I don't know if I'll be ready to share them when their dad returns back to the States in May/June.

help, please?

I need a reason to run. I do enjoy it, but I like the idea of training for something. A goal to shoot for. I have no money to pay for races. Without a goal, it is hard for me to get out the door just to run.

I'd like to focus more on losing weight. I have at least 40 lbs I'd still like to lose. The way I'm eating post-race I'll be gaining back everything I've lost this year.

I know I want to work more on my core. Do more cross training, but again...just sitting at home, doesn't motivate me. If I had a class to go to, that would help. But add in the money issues again.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Beat me across the head with a 2x4?

katie still cooks

My kitchen got quite the workout this past week.

Thursday: made chocolate chip cookie bars. just used the recipe on the back of the Nestle chocolate chip bag and put in a bar pan. baked at 350 for about 35 minutes. kids loved it. it was a spur of the moment treat for them.

Friday: made this Chocolate-Peanut Butter-Banana Delight cake for the LexRunLadies birthday celebration. I'm not a huge cake person. I think there were too many layers, I'd probably do just one chocolate and one banana if I ever made it again. the frosting was too DIE for. so delicious and I'm not a huge peanut butter person.

I also made this queso. Which didn't turn out as hoped, it was extremely soupy. Thinking back, I screwed it up. I was in such a hurry that I wasn't paying attention to how much milk I put in. I put in one cup too much. Now I know. I will definitely make this again. It was ahhhhmazing. Tasted just like the restaurant version and well, I have a queso problem.

Saturday: there was a potluck on Sunday at church, I was asked to make stuff, so figured I needed to get it done and ready so I wouldn't have to worry about it at all on Sunday. I made a Kentucky Hot Brown Bake, because in Kentucky you can never go wrong with anything that says Hot Brown. It was awesome. Everyone loved it at the potluck and the rector asked for the recipe, said she was going to post in in this week's Parish Tidings as the first recipe in the recipe section she wanted to start. Sweet! I also made Red Velvet Cheesecake Brownies. They didn't taste much like red velvet, but delicious nonetheless.

IHHM

I finished the Iron Horse Half Marathon. Rather, I survived it.

I don't know if I can put my body through this again. I just don't know. Once upon a time, I was considering a marathon...just thinking about it, looked at a few races, nothing definite. I don't know if I could do that, if my body doesn't like me after 13.1 miles, it would surely HATE me after 26.2, right?

Anyway, back to the race.

Lady who was watching the kids was late. I was worried that I wouldn't make it in time for pictures, I'd make it in plenty of time for the race itself...but was worried about the picture. Go figure. I sent Jaime a text asking if I could bum some energy gels from her, didn't think I'd have time to stop at the store, but she had already left the house. I ran into Kroger and ran right out. I got to Midway only 5 minutes later than I had originally wanted. Parked at the college and walked down Stephens Street. Tried not to have PTSD about the school (got my nursing degree there). Kept trying to call Jaime. She didn't answer. Tried to think of any other numbers I had. Jenny, I had Jenny's number. Called her. Got to the meeting place. Group picture. Went the bathroom.

We all walked to the race start like a posse, it was pretty awesome looking at the picture. Got there, we took more pictures. I turned my Garmin on. It didn't work. I freakishly pull out my phone and start downloading RunKeeper to my phone. I had to have SOME kind of record of this. It didn't fully download and start until about 2-3tenths into the race. But it was better than nothing.

In some ways this felt like a remake of RTB. I start out with a running buddy, then part way through...I get hurt and have to tell them to keep going without me. I don't know what I would have done without LaTanya. She is pretty damn amazing. The first 5-6 miles were pretty easy. We kept trying to keep our pace under a 14 min/mile so as not to get kicked off the course at mile 7. However, the pacer never seemed to appear. Others swear they saw her, but I never did. When we got to the turn around at mile 4, my friend Jodi was there with her husband and kids. She dragged them out of the house just to come see me for a few minutes. That meant the world to me.

At mile 6.5, there was the Strider station, we'd passed them going out...but didn't talk much. Keith stopped me and asked how I was doing. I answered rough. My knee was starting to hurt a little. More sore than outright pain. We got to mile 7 without being kicked off the course. It was after this I really started to struggle and the distance between me and LaTanya got larger. I told her to go on without me, she refused...said she wouldn't leave me. Finally about mile 9 after we hit the LexRunLadies station (and the porta potty where I peed myself before I could even sit. damn), we started out again together, but I hurt too much.  At mile 10.5 I saw my friend Leah, she was manning a different water station. She gave me a bottle of water. Right after that, I saw Ann! She told me I was almost to the turn around. Then I saw Casey who told me just two more turns after we joked about amputating my knee and her below the waist. Got to love a fellow nurse. Made it to the turn around, joked with the lady who was standing there. Kept on going. Saw someone running toward me and it was Leah again. She ran with me about a half mile before she had to go back to her water station. at mile 11, I really wanted to just give up...but kept telling myself, "only 2 more miles, only 2 more miles." I honestly don't know how I made it to the last part. I told myself when I hit the main entrance of Midway College, I would start running again since I knew it was about 2/10 of a mile from the finish. When I got to the entrance, I saw more people running toward me. It was Jenny and Brooke! They came to find me after LaTanya had finished and told me I was having knee problems. They ran back with me. There was a guy with a Greek Festival shirt on, at the beginning of the race I told LaTanya that I was going to beat him. He started to get ahead of me. Once we hit the turn to the finish, I booked it and sprinted to the finish.

Krissie, Nathan, Jaime, Steve, Kelly, DJ, and whoever else was still hanging around made a human tunnel for me to run through. It was amazing.

Compared to RunTheBluegrass where there really wasn't anyone at the finish for me (Krissie and Nathan were cheering at the end), and Jenny waited just for me to finish. To have my buddies, waiting over 1-1.5 hrs to see me finish. I wanted to bawl. It took everything in me not to bawl.

I finished. I survived. I even PR'd. Final time 3:23:32. Finished 999 out of 1001. Not dead last, but pretty freaking close.

random after midnight posting

blah blah blah, I know, I know...I'm a blogging slacker. I did state in my first entry that I stink at this, right? Life has been fairly dull around these parts lately. Kids have been keeping me busy. Other than that these are the highlights:

• I started back to school this week to get my BSN. I reeeeaaaaally wasn't ready to go back, but it seems to be a necessity to get any job. I'm attending Indiana Wesleyan where I got my first Bachelor's degree. It seems to be the quickest means to the end since I have all their gen ed classes out of the way. I'm not looking forward to having more school loans, however. First week of assignments doesn't seem too bad. I'm already wanting to wash my eyes out with soap in regards to one person's writing. It is horrid. Ah well, maybe this course will help her learn more academic writing?
• I had an interview this past Monday (9th) with the local health department. If there were a job out there that were perfect for me? This would be it. If you're the praying sort, prayers appreciated. I'm supposed to have an answer by tomorrow. Believe me, if I am hired...I will be screaming it ALL over the interwebs.
• Son #1 turned 8. There is no way I am old enough to have an 8 year old. I mean, its physically possible as I am 29 years old. But still...where did the time go? How is he 8 already? He has grown into such a lovely child, he always was my easy going one. He has gotten so much taller, I think he's already only 8 inches shorter than me. Which isn't hard, I'm only 5' tall. Sigh. I think I have maybe 2 years tops before he is taller. 
• The Iron Horse Half Marathon is this Sunday. THIS Sunday. I know I can do it. Deep down in my soul, I know I can. But I am scared shitless. My knee decided to be crappy to me back in September. I've spent the last week and a half ill with either a nasty cold or upper respiratory gunk. Add in the allergies before that. My training for the last month and a half has been slim to none. I'm nervous about the time cutoff. That the pacer will end up in front of me. 
• Tomorrow is the LexRunLadies anniversary. I remember hearing about this group last year right after it was created, at a get together to watch some running movies prior to the Marshall Marathon (and half). I don't know why it took me so long to get involved, but I am so glad I did. Love you ladies (and dudes)! Cannot wait to eat, drink, and gab with you all tomorrow night! 

and thus ends tonight's ramblings. maybe I will be back tomorrow with good news? if not, I shall return with news of the Iron Horse.

jealousy and depression

So now that my ex-husband has gone, I'm left with not being able to run with friends anymore. They plan their runs. I see their pictures and I'm completely jealous that I'm not out there with them. The pain in my knee isn't helping any either. I miss my friends. All I have of them is on Facebook and Twitter and even that seems to have dwindled.

Between not seeing my friends and not having a job still, a smidge of depression has set in. I've gone back to my old comfort eating. I gained back about 5 lbs that I'd lost.

If my knee doesn't start feeling better, I don't know what I'll do. The mornings that I run are the only thing I have for me lately. The only thing. I can't lose that.

wise words from Bart Yasso

I just finished reading "My Life on the Run" by Bart Yasso

Here is one passage that really stuck out to me:

If you don't feel welcomed in a sport or a job or a family, you don't stick around. Running is about acceptance - of yourself and others. When you're out on the trail sweating, it doesn't matter if the guy or gal next to you works at a fast-food joint or is CEO of Kellogg's. It doesn't matter what color they are, or how old they are, or what religion they practice, if any at all. 

Running celebrates our commonality. Are we human because we can run on two feet, or does running make us human? I know I feel more like myself when I run, even if it's only a few miles, or at least I feel like the self I like best. Running inspires creativity, relieves stress, and gives us insight into ourselves and the world, making the human condition more tolerable.

But it is not enough to confine these benefits to ourselves. As runners, we each have a duty to accept the role as mentor to a slower runner or a new runner or someone who doesn't think he or she can walk around the block, let alone finish a 5k.  Remember, we're not some members of a snooty, noses-in-the-air fraternity. We are runners! So let's spread the message. can you imagine how grand the planet would be if everyone were a runner? Obesity? Not a problem. Depression? Never heard of it. Sluggishness? Get the hell out. 

Shakespeare go it wrong when he wrote "To sleep: perchance to dream." We run to dream, with our subconscious thoughts shaping the path of our lives. 

It has been just over a year since I started running with a group. The first run, I was paired with some that ran my pace. However, after that...I was kind of left on my own. For every single run. I felt alone. I chalked it up to me just being much slower than the rest. I guess, in some ways, it is a miracle that I continued running.

After reading this, it has sealed my resolve to help other new runners feel welcome. I may not be able to keep up with them, but I can welcome them and make them feel like they fit in.

be prepared...

I've spent quite a bit of time lately listening to Disney songs on CD. One feature I love about my van (yes, there is something I love), is the 10 disc CD player. I can't begin to remember when I last listened to CD's regularly. I think I need to dig up some of my old CD's so I can start singing some Phantom of the Opera and my kids can groan in the back, just as much as I groan when I have to listen to "Can you feel the love tonight" one more time because they enjoy listening to Pumba and Timon cry at the end. Another of the songs they've enjoyed listening to is "be prepared" from Lion King.

The time off this last week has had me wondering if I will be prepared for Iron Horse. I don't know if I'll get any longer runs in. Someone suggested focusing on some shorter, more intense runs...to build up my overall running fitness as an alternative to just running really slow longer runs. In a way it makes sense. I guess I'll shoot for that.

But I still worry.

The run I probably should have quit

Tuesday's run was my long run for the week. I had 8 miles scheduled. I plotted a map on Garmin. Sent the course to my watch. Because of the problems with losing the course last week, I made a cheat sheet of turns in case my watch steered me wrong. Which did happen. I was thankful for it later on. I wore my running clothes to the bus stop. Got the kids on their buses. Went back home for my shoes, compression sleeve, and water. I got out the door right at 7:30. I allotted myself 2 hours, but was hoping to finish in 1:52:00, the same time I had done almost two weeks ago. Again, trying more for consistency in time than in running faster. I'm going by the moving time on Garmin Connect, because I had to stop a few times to figure out which way I was going. Looking back at the moving time, I have negative splits for most of the miles. Woot!

Mile 0-1: Felt pretty good, walked a little to start, then had to stop and wait to cross the main road about a quarter mile in. Completed in 14:20, a little slower than I wanted...but not too shabby.

Mile 1-2: Until mile 1.5, when my knee twinged a little...I was feeling good. Walked a short bit to see how my knee was, felt okay so I went back to running. completed in 14:20 yet again.

Mile 2-3: Feeling good, very hilly part of my run. Completed in 14:17.

Mile 3-4: Knee started hurting a bit again, but not enough to make me quit. Just more sore than anything. Still  on the hilly part of the run. Completed in 14:02.

Mile 4-5: Felt amazing. Best part of the run by far. Completed in 14:10

Mile 5-6: Still doing awesome. Completed in 13:57.

Mile 6-7: Knee hurt a bit at mile 6 again. Yet, still not enough to make me quit, just sore. Completed in 13:45.

Mile 7-8: I was close enough to home at the beginning of mile 7 that I could have gone home in about a quarter mile. But I was determined to get my 8 in. Just shortly after, I experienced a sharp stabbing pain in my left calf (right one was the one injured back in May/June). I walked a little, then decided I wanted to get home a bit quicker while still getting my mileage in...so started jogging very slowly, but faster than a walk. Yet again, I'm still close enough to get home quickly by cutting through a field. I decide to stick it out. I have a bit of pain the next half a mile. I hit my house at 7.75 miles, but STILL want to get my mileage in. So, I ran down the sidewalk and experienced the sharp stabbing pain again. I hobble back to the house. Completed the last mile in 16:55.

As a nurse and as someone who as a degree in athletic training as well, I knew better than to keep going once I got that first stabbing pain. I knew it, but chose to ignore it. The rest of the day I could barely walk. I ended up taking a leftover percocet that night so I could even sleep. Yesterday, was not much better. I woke up last night because it hurt so bad. I did spend quite a bit of time icing, stretching, and foam rolling. Thank goodness its starting to help. My knee still feels off. My calf is extremely tight.

I've decided to give myself at least a week off. With more icing, stretching, foam rolling and ibuprofen. I'll try a 2-3 mile jog on Tuesday and see how it feels. Then, go from there. I'm trying to be smart. I don't want to put myself in the position I did the last time when I had to take almost a month off from running. Iron Horse is  just a little over 5 weeks away. I have a good base mileage. I know I can run 13.1 miles. I was planning to do a 12 miler next week, but I'll push that off another week...pending how my leg is feeling. I'm hoping to get at least one more longer run in, but if I don't...I don't.

Labor Day 5 mile virtual run

I'm not even sure how I found out about this virtual race, but seeing as how my budget is limited of late...virtual races are where its at for me! I had 5 miles on my schedule anyway, so decided to do Mommy, Run Fast's Labor Day 5 or 10 mile virtual run.

I had to complete my run on Friday, so Thursday night found me plotting a 5 mile course for my Garmin. I'd never used the feature of having the watch tell me which direction to go before...so it was an adventure I was willing to risk, since I'd also never run 5 miles near my house either. Anything over 3 miles, usually has me driving somewhere. I didn't have time for that on Friday since my girl child got on the bus at 7:15, and I had to be at my chiropractor's office at 9:00. Not a lot of leeway, there was also consideration of stopping my run at the chiropractors, but thought better of having him work on me after I'd just finished running without having showered first. So, the course. I decided to wander through a neighborhood I'd only driven through. In hindsight, I should have just plotted an out and back. Those I can handle just fine, at least until I learn the neighborhoods.

I also ran 6 miles later Thursday night, so my legs were anything but fresh. My goal lately is just to keep consistent times for my mileage. I'm not worried so much about speed, though that is a goal for after my next half marathon.

Got up, got the kids on their respective buses. Girl's bus was a few minutes late. Again, now I know for future reference to have my running stuff on when going to the bus stop, so it doesn't hold me up. Went back to the house quick, got changed and went on my way. I love my Garmin. I do not love the course feature. Or maybe it takes some getting used to? I hated having to look at my watch to make sure I didn't miss a turn. Then it told me I got off course. I said screw it and just took a route that I knew would get me back to the house with the miles I had left. It was rather fun watching all the middle school and high school kids waiting for the bus...also wonder what they were thinking/saying after I went by. Maybe I'll avoid those neighborhoods during bus pick up for future reference. I got home with about 10 minutes to get showered, dressed, and in the van. Thankfully my chiropractor is literally a 2 minute drive. I was a little late, but I'd rather be late than stinky.

This was my first longer distance school day run, the only other one I did was 3 miles. I need to become more consistent in my timing so that I can plan my running better for school days. I also need to figure out a better way to plan my routes in this area I've not run much in without going on the main roads.

My goal was to finish about 1:10:00, so a little slower than wanted...but can't complain. I had to stop and figure out which way to go a few times. I'm trying to keep under 14 min/miles due to a race cut off time for the half in a few weeks. I was able to do that for my last 8.5 miler, so I know its possible. Just working on it.

1	13:34.7	1.00	13:35
2	14:07.2	1.00	14:07
3	15:38.3	1.00	15:38
4	14:41.4	1.00	14:41
5	15:13.8	1.00	15:14

5k runs for my reference

Whenever I run a 3 miler, I've been adding in the last tenth, to kind of base how I'm progressing. Posting here so its easier for me to see.

7/24/12- 47:31
7/26/12- 45:36
7/31/12- 42:31
8/4/12- 46:48 (treadmill run, notoriously slower than usual)
8/14/12- 39:07
8/18/12- 38:41

So generally, getting faster except that dastardly treadmill run. I've not been pushing myself like I would in a race, so maybe when I actually race a 5k again I'll be able to PR? I'd need to do faster than 33:51. I think its possible, so we'll see.

A few of these have been on a track and I'd do a jog the first 400m, pick up the pace for the next 800, and really speed it up the last 400. Rinse and repeat for the 3 miles, then the last tenth, really bust my butt. The run on 8/14, I got down to a 9:05 pace for the last tenth. Not too shabby, eh?

I'm running a 5k on Saturday, but it will be after running 10-11 miles, so not expecting anything spectacular.

But those times above, the fact that they are improving...gives me hope.

slow running or running slower

I've struggled since I hurt my shins/calf with the fact that my running is much slower than I desire. It is really starting to frustrate me. Looking back at my data from last August, it seems I'm in the exact place I was a year ago. I know that's not true because at this time last year, I'd never run further than 3 miles...ever. Now? I regularly run 4+ miles, even rocked out a 10 miler this past weekend. Maybe I should be be more focused on the miles I'm getting in, instead of on the amount of time it takes for me to finish them. Maybe the slowness is due in part to me missing almost a whole month of summer heat acclimation?

Enough of that. I'm right on track for my half marathon training and will be until the end of this month. I've spent most of my long runs on my own (except for two done with Retta and LaTanya...who rock!). I had picked this one location to run two of them. Mainly because it had a 2.3 mile loop and I figured it would be easy to refuel. It sucked. I need to find a better place to long run when I'm on my own.

The best long run was definitely this past weekend with Retta and LaTanya. It was the longest run ever for both of them. It was my 3rd longest run ever (my first 10 miler was in March and the half marathon). LaTanya was really only planning 6, but at the turn where she was going to have to go, decided to stick with us for the 7.5 mile loop at RTB. We got back to the parking lot to refuel and head out for a few more miles and she tagged along. They both rocked that run. We walked a lot of it, but that's okay! Looking at my data (cause I'm a geek), when we did run, we were running between 12:30-14 minute paces.

The best shorter run was this past week. I've been running on a track at my daughter's school with some other people on Tuesday mornings. They do more speed work, I'm just there to get my miles in mostly. I started out just jogging along, figured I'd do that then pick up the pace a little for the last quarter mile, not so much that I was struggling...but enough that I'd feel it. Did that and finished 3.1 miles three minutes faster than the last time I ran the distance a few weeks before. I busted my butt the last tenth and ran that at a 9:05 pace.

So maybe my speed (ha!) is still there?

Sweat Your Thorns Off 5k Virtual Run Report

So, there is a post I really need to write, but just haven't gotten around to it. In the meantime, I participated in The Boring Runner's Sweat Your Thorns Off Virtual 5k. I had 3 miles on my schedule for Saturday anyway, so decided to tack on that extra tenth. I was supposed to run on Friday as well, but took it off after I got the blister from hell from Wednesdays run. On the recommendation from some running friends I purchased New Skin and the Blister bandaids. They were gifts from the gods.
Blister immediately after Wednesday run. (toe had blistered 1.5 weeks before, skin finally broke, had to trim it, got a new blister on raw skin)

toe all bandaged up and ready to run

got out one of my favorite running shirts. it was my first "real" running shirt. prior to this, I'd run in cotton *gasp* all the time.

got my trusty shoes, which had the D-Tag from my last race still on them

so I had to run on my treadmill. it was my weekend with the kids. I have a love/hate relationship with my treadmill. The kids were finishing up watching Ramona and Beezus (great movie, watch it!) from the night before, so I ran while watching it. I love my treadmill because I can run whenever I want to. I hate it because I am absolutely effing slow on it. I swear those who say they are faster on a treadmill are on crack. Give me the outdoors, even if it is hot, any day. I finished my 5k in 46:48 which is horribly horribly slow. Even for me, who is, well...slower. But I did it. 

The highlight of the run was that I forgot to put on my trusty Zensah calf sleeve which I've been using to combat my calf strain/shin splints. When I finished, I realized that I had absolutely ZERO pain while running...so maybe the treadmill is good for something?

and just in case anyone wanted to see another gross picture of my toe, here is the post shower toe picture in which the band aid was removed.

we are...Penn State!

I grew up not really caring about college football, major league sports was it for me. I then married into a die hard Penn State family (ex in-laws even skipped our wedding in favor of a Penn State game). I grew to love JoePa and the Penn State. I watched every game I could  on TV. So last fall when the shit hit the fan, I was devastated. I won't go into who I believe is at fault, but you could say that I agree with what I'm posting below that was written by an Ohio State fan. I love my Nittany Lions and I will continue to cheer and support them through the sanctions that I think are ridiculous (not all, just most of them). We are!

"As a graduate of The Ohio State University, I never thought that I would be writing about anything that related to Penn State. But, I can no longer take the ignorance and lynch mob mentality of many of the media outlets, as well as the general populace.

It has always amazed me that we (readers and listeners of mass media) have become so lazy that we swallow every morsel of so called news as gospel. Lest we forget that the media must sell their wares in order to remain in business. With the advent of ever evolving technology that task has become increasing more difficult. As a result, the media too have evolved.

What used to be a respected profession, where journalistic integrity and the reporting of the facts were not only the norm, but were sacred and guarded, has now become a mission to remain relevant and profitable. Their integrity and reporting of the facts have often taken a back seat to the sensationalizing of some facet of the news.

It’s no longer good enough to simply report the facts and allow the readers or listeners to form their own judgment or opinion. Many articles today are merely watered down editorials with morsels of the truth thrown in so one could call it a news article.

I believe that the media are the most powerful people in the world. We have been led to believe, in fact brain washed in a sense, to accept the words of the media as an unbiased and fair representation of the facts.

The Sandusky Sex Scandal, or as it’s better know the Penn State Sex Scandal… because the word “Sandusky” won’t sell as many papers or TV ads as “Penn State”, is a prime example of the media gone wrong.

I continue to be amazed by the irrational comments from generally intelligent people. Their naive acceptance of the media’s portrayal of the students/athletes, as well as Joe Paterno and other officials at Penn State is very bothersome to me and it should be to you.

For those of us who have actually read Louis Freeh’s report (which is the most comprehensive study about the Sandusky Sex Scandal) with an open mind, it must make you wonder about a number of things.

One of the most basic tenets of the entire document has been largely ignored by media. The report clearly states that in 1998 an investigation took place regarding Sandusky and alleged misconduct with young boys. The District Attorney along with the police department and several state organizations conducted numerous interviews. School officials, parents and alleged victims were all questioned. The investigation was closed and no charges were filed. Sandusky should have been stopped in 1998. He wasn’t.

The report went on to say that law enforcement and child welfare officials were ill equipped and not sufficiently trained to adequately recognize and handle adolescent sexual abuse. What? Why isn’t that the headline? Apparently, that won’t sell as many ads or newspapers.

That one sentence shines a whole new light on this entire tragedy. If the professionals who are hired to serve and protect didn’t have the proper knowledge, training and education as it pertained to adolescent abuse, what makes everyone think that a football coach or academic officials should?

However, not one media outlet picked up on that and reported the finding. Apparently, it wasn’t sensational enough. In 2001, having been through a Sandusky investigation just three years prior, Joe Paterno reported yet another incident to school officials. Knowing the result of the 1998 investigation, one might understand (not condone, but understand) why, after the initial report was filed, there was limited follow up on the part of Joe Paterno.

There’s no doubt that Paterno and school officials made some horrendous decisions. But, so did the law enforcement personnel and state agencies who were supposed to be knowledgeable about pedophiles and their characteristics.

I question why the media and many of you are holding a football coach and an administration to a higher standard than law enforcement and agencies whose job it is to protect all of us? Would you hold Child Protective Services, State Police or the District Attorney responsible if the Nittany Lions lost a football game? Of course not. It’s irrational and idiotic. I’m not downplaying the acts of Sandusky. They were horrific!

Further, I’m not defending anyone, but simply pointing out the fact that the mob is trying to condemn Penn State’s current students, athletes and officials for grievous acts committed 12 or 14 years ago. For the most part, today’s student body at Penn State were just getting out of diapers when these acts occurred. How is it rational or just for them to be punished?

One final thought. During the same time frame of 12 to 14 years, the students at Penn State have raised and donated nearly $100 million dollars for research and a cure for pediatric cancer. Thousands of young lives have been saved or made better because of the students at Penn State. Let’s stop casting aspersions and not forget all of the good they have done.

So, before you jump on the band wagon, perhaps you should know the facts and not just what the media want you to believe.

I’m proud to be a Buckeye, but feel very sad for the victims, students and everyone who calls Happy Valley home."

in which Katie walks and runs

Mentally, Tuesday and Thursdays runs just sucked. I can't even think of any redeeming qualities from either run. They frustrated me to no end. The one benefit was the Orange Leaf after Thursday's run to celebrate Krissie's anniversary. So needless to say, I was dreading my weekend runs. Kids were going to their dads on Friday (and the girl child screamed and cried "but I want to stay with you mommy!"...nothing like breaking my heart. sigh...love that girl.). I had plans to run Saturday in Midway and Sunday at the RunTheBluegrass course.

Saturday's run was supposed to be 8 miles. I had considered doing it at RTB, but decided I didn't want to do all those hills. So Midway it was. I ended up running with a new friend. I had set my Garmin to run 4 minutes, walk 1 minute. That lasted a good while, but we eventually just started walking when we needed to. It was a great run. Not awesome, but MUCH better than my weekday runs. The almost two hours that it took seemed to go by so quickly. I rarely had company for any long runs when I trained for RTB, so to have someone to chat with mad a huge difference. I honestly don't think I would have gone the whole 8 planned if I hadn't had company. The best part was that it was her first run at the 8 mile distance and watching her feel that accomplishment at finishing, was pretty damn awesome. 

The rest of the day consisted of donating blood, stopping at a yarn store, going to the library (picked up info about being a soccer mom, really just the registration though). Went home and tried to nap, that didn't work as well. Went to a friend's house for girl's night and stayed waaaaay too late and ended up getting home at 1:30am and after getting stuff ready to run in the morning, got in bed around 2am. 

Sunday I had decided to run 4, but had originally been open to doing the 7.5 mile route as well. Though after the lack of sleep, I decided the 4 mile course was a better option. I woke up a little after 5, left my house a little after 5:30, met someone who lives near me and we drove together to Keeneland. The run started out bad again. For some reason my legs just don't want to move when I first head out. My body started to get with the program a little better for the second mile. I stopped and took some pictures, it is such a gorgeous course. I honestly don't think there is a more beautiful place to run. The third mile rocked. A little into the fourth mile, passed someone who had started out before me, it was nice to know that even though I felt like my legs were lead, they were still going strong even at the end. The last quarter mile of the run, I was busting my butt, trying to be just a little faster in the fourth mile than I was in the third. It was worth it, I consistently had negative splits the whole run. 

I got to thinking about why I'm going much slower than I used to. I never had a chance to acclimate to the heat with the weeks I had to take off. Which is another good reminder to be okay with going slower now. I'll be good come fall when the weather cools down some.

the week thus far

So Monday I did Bob Harper's Totally Ripped Core workout. Oh. Em. Gee. I dripped sweat. More than I do when running for the same amount of time. I wasn't that sore...so I think I need to work on tightening my core a bit more when doing the exercises. There were some that were extremely difficult for me, but I figure it'll come to me in time.

Then later? Spent two. Yes, two hours at the pool with my kids. I really don't know how to mark it in MyFitnessPal because I'm not swimming consistently for two hours, but there was time that I did swim some laps or I was treading water or doing aqua exercises. So far I'm just counting half the time I spend in the pool.

Tuesday I spent an hour in the pool with the kids, then headed to West Sixth for their Run Club. Got in 3 miles. The first one, was awesome. The last two...not so much. Ended up walking almost the whole last mile. I don't think I was hydrated enough.

Today, I set my alarm to get up for Bob Harper's Yoga for the Warrior DVD. Yeah, didn't get up. Headed to swim with the kids in a little bit and will either get it in after lunch or I'll do it tonight after they're in bed.

perseverance

Despite my fears, I shall persevere. I went out for a bike ride last Wednesday and decided while I was out, I might as well throw in a short run. I ran 2 miles. This time last year? That was a long run. While the run it self just sucked, my leg hurt, it was hot and humid at 4:30pm (what was I thinking?) and I didn't bring enough water...it made me feel better about running in general. After I ran, I hopped on my bike for about 5 miles. My knee bothers me somewhat so cut my ride shorter than I had planned. But I did it. I was afraid to do it, but I did it.

Today/yesterday (the 15th) started my re-training for the Iron Horse Half Marathon (IHHM). While I don't get the 16 weeks that I want, I have 13 weeks. Not the optimal amount that I wanted, but I will do the best that I can with the time that I have. So I will start posting about my runs, cross training, etc...

Sunday- Rest day (swam with the kids, did some mini laps of freestyle in between carting kids in the pool)
Monday- Cross training: Bob Harper's ripped core workout
Tuesday- 3 miles
Wednesday- Cross Training: Bob Harper's yoga dvd
Thursday- 4 miles
Friday- Rest/swim
Saturday- either 4 or 8 miles or more...who knows.

Once I started doubting myself, friends who aren't runners kept coming and telling me how proud they are of my running. That they're so glad that I do this for myself and commented on the weight I've lost this year (18 lbs since January, almost 30 lbs from my heaviest 3 years ago). I know I can do this and I will do it.

fear

Last week after the Bluegrass 10,000...I felt like I was on top of the world. I was happier finishing that race than I was finishing RunTheBluegrass. I felt more accomplished with that race. Maybe it was because I hadn't run in awhile? Or maybe it was because I felt I had conquered my injury? Whatever it was, in the last week I feel that I've dropped to the bottom. I'm afraid to run. I know I can do it, I proved that last week. But...now I'm afraid of re-injuring myself. I'm afraid I won't be able to meet my goals that I set. I'm afraid I won't love running as much as I did prior to injury if I can't perform as I was.

Maybe its time to rethink my goals.

I had planned to start my training for the Iron Horse a few weeks ago. Do a 16 week training plan. I felt the 12 weeks I did for RTB wasn't enough. Now here I am looking at only having 12 weeks again and it scares me that I won't be as ready as I want to be.

what I want to be when I grow up

Unemployment gives you a lot of time to think about what you want to be. What you want to do for your life's work. I love nursing. Blood doesn't bother me. Giving people a bath doesn't bother me. I'll admit that I love poking people with needles whether for a shot or to draw blood or start an IV. There are very few things I don't like about my chose profession. But, when you have your first nursing job for less than two months, it really makes you question if you were cut out for it.

Someone asked me this week what kind of nursing job I was looking for. I said that right now, I'd take whatever would pay me. And honestly? I would. Do I like pediatrics or OB? Not really, but if that was who hired me, I'd do it in a heartbeat and do it to the best of my ability.

I've also been thinking about where I want my nursing career to go "someday." I wrote a paper last summer during nursing school about Diabetes in Kentucky's Children (if anyone wants to read it, I'd be more than willing to send it to you via email). That is the population I want to work with. I want to teach kids how to fight off diabetes, how to prevent it, and if they do have it...how to treat it the best way possible. As a person who is at high risk for diabetes (overweight, paternal grandmother had type 2, I had gestational diabetes twice), the disease scares the living daylights out of me, almost more than any other disease.

That is where running comes in. I'm running and losing weight to lower my risks for diabetes and I want to teach others to do the same thing.

Bluegrass 10,000

First run in 3.5 weeks.

First 10k race ever.

First time trying out a compression sleeve.

First race in almost 80 degree weather.

A lot of firsts. It was good. I felt good. I didn't sleep well last night. There's been a lot of that going around for me. So when I woke up around 5ish, I just wanted to crawl back in bed. Then reminded myself I need to use my heating pad for my calf before leaving. Then I needed to stop and get coffee (caffeine, don't own a coffepot) and pick Jaime up.

I got Jaime, we drove downtown and parked at one of the elementary schools. We missed both photo ops with the Striders and LexRunLadies. Next time. By the time I found Jenny, the coffee had kicked in and I had to jog to the port a pots. Thankfully, there wasn't a long line. I got back and put the compression sleeve on. I hurt jogging back and forth to the bathroom, but once I started running with the sleeve...no pain. Miraculous! I started out near the back and slowly made my way forward. It wasn't as crowded at the back as I expected, less weaving in and out than at the Throo the Zoo...but maybe because the roads were wider?

About a half mile in (I think), I found Krissie and her Big Hand or a high five. I saw her again around 2 miles I think?

I started out running 4 minutes, walking 1 minute. Then decided to just run as much as I could and walk when necessary. There was no pain other than a little twinge in my ankle. Nothing to complain about. At mile 2.7, I came across the Striders cheering group on Richmond Road. They were the bomb, though sad I missed out on the frozen water balloons they had. But a hug and some water from Jaime and I was back on my way.  There was a lot of shade on the way out, then we hit the sun. It was bearing down on us. there were people out with their hoses spraying us off. There were a lot of water stops, thank goodness. Finally turned back on Richmond Rd and there was a bit more shade. Came across the Striders again around mile 4.5 and got their last bottle of water I think.

I slowly made it the last 1.75 miles. Felt like it took forever. Passed a guy from my church who had already finished, his wife and daughters screamed my name. Felt good. I saw Krissie and the hand again at mile 6 and I started picking the pace up to finish the race in style.

I finished in 1:26:38. When I signed up for the race, I was hoping to finish in 1:10:00, but with the shin splints/calf strain...I was thankful to finish in no pain.


I went to find my group, got an awesome cookie from John. Then made my way to McCarthy's for a post-run beer. Then we went to watch the awards. Son #1's 1st/2nd grade teacher placed first in her age group. There was a lady who was between 90-99 who finished the race in 1:41:00ish I believe. I hope, that when I'm her age...I'm out doing a 10k in 80+ degree weather. What a woman! I want to be like her.

Jaime and I then meandered back to the car and got this fun picture on the way out...

My splits via Garmin

Split	Time	Moving Time	Distance	Elevation Gain	Elevation Loss	Avg Pace	Avg Moving Pace	Best Pace	Calories
1	12:53.5	12:31	1	32	0	12:53	12:31	6:54	121
2	13:35.2	13:05	1	10	40	13:35	13:05	5:31	107
3	13:02.1	12:49	1	69	0	13:02	12:49	10:37	108
4	14:10.4	13:47	1	0	34	14:10	13:47	10:13	97
5	15:19.3	14:42	1	39	12	15:19	14:42	11:00	95
6	15:01.5	14:35	1	0	68	15:01	14:35	11:52	92
7	02:48.4	2:41	0.25	0	0	11:16	10:46	8:31	33
Summary	26:50.2	24:10.0	6.25	150	154	13:54	13:28	5:31	653

I dropped her off, got gas in my car, got some tea at McD's, got home, made lunch, showered, and put on Scrubs Season 1 for a marathon while I vegged.

It was a great day. I really really really enjoyed the race. I hated the weather, but we all made the best of the situation. It reminded me of my love for running and to be thankful that I CAN run, despite injury. I just need to take it slower.

And to end it all...my favorite picture taken, just shows the joy of the day.

three weeks

Tomorrow will be three weeks of no running. I haven't gone that long since, well...since I started running seriously a year ago. It is driving me crazy. The last three weeks have been pretty stressful between unemployment, the car accident, car shopping, dealing with more unemployment requirements, and my ex-husband being out of town for all of it for his National Guard summer training. When I'm stressed...I want to run. And I couldn't.

I finished my round of Nabumetone (prescription NSAID) on Thursday. I've been icing every night. Stretching multiple times a day. My shins feel okay. But now my calf is starting to hurt again even just walking. I wonder if it will ever heal, but I'll keep at it. I've been taking some ibuprofen at night. Still icing. Resting. I've finished boot camp, at least until I'm employed again.

My kids are going to their dads on Monday for a full week. They've never been away from me for more than two days. This shall be interesting. This will be my first kid free week in almost 8 years. I don't even know what I'll do with myself. But, I have the following planned thus far:

Monday: drop kids off, chiropractor, zumba with Krissie
Tuesday: ummm....nothing? then West 6th Brewing Running Club, going to walk the 1.5 mile route
Wednesday: Bluegrass 10,000...which I'll be walk/jogging. first "run" in over 3 weeks
Thursday: possibly King's Island (yay free tickets from donating blood!), then possibly play camp nurse and sneak wine into camp to drink with the other nurse
Friday: hang at camp?
Saturday: girl's night with some of my favorite single mom's.

these are a few of my favorite things...

Because I want to be positive today. My life has been completely hectic dealing with car shopping (yuck) and unemployment stuff (even more yuck), that I need something to be happy about.

Brownberry Healthful 10 grain bread: I tried this after reading The Skinny Rules. it fits the requirements. its delicious and it gives me some added protein which I always have a hard time getting in.

Dannon Oikos Greek Vanilla Yogurt: I bit the bullet and finally tried Greek yogurt. I loved it. My friends said I would...I should have believed them sooner.

Chocolate PB2. amazing stuff. I've added it to smoothies (1 cup skim milk, 2 scoops protein powder, 2 tbsp PB2, and 3 ice cubes = awesome!) I also add it to the aforementioned Greek yogurt. Chocolate PB yogurt? hells yeah!

Biscoff spread. I blame Jaime for this. Its all her fault. Its like eating a cookie in a jar. it is beyond awesome. I will admit that I *cough* eat it out of the jar *cough*.

Leinenkugel Summer Shandy. I tried this after my half marathon. Maybe it was that I was rewarding myself for the race, but who knows. I was never a beer fan, but I tried this and loved it.

not running = not blogging

Since I'm not able to run, I don't have too terribly much to write about. It has no been one week and five days since I've ran. I went to boot camp this week. Tuesday it was just me and the owner...so more of a personal training session. It was pretty awesome. I told him about the shin splints, so we didn't do anything that would aggravate them. I did more push ups than I ever thought I could possibly do. Seriously. I think if I can keep doing boot camp (Groupon ends after next week...will do more of this after employed again), I might someday actually have abs and upper body strength. But, maybe that's a pipe dream? I do know that after 4 weeks of boot camp twice a week, I can now hold a regular plank for 30 seconds. When I started, I could barely hold it for 10 seconds. I went for a 30 minute bike ride with my friend Jaime this morning before boot camp. I really wish I had just continued on the bike ride instead of going to boot camp. It was harder, there was more "running" involved, which was really walking for me. There was jumping. It hurt to jump. I'm paying for it now. It hurts like hell. I have two more classes left on my Groupon, I think I'll go, but I'll stick to anything that isn't running or jumping. My regular instructor will be back next week and I'll talk to him about it.

Joblessness. I've had one interview in the last two months. Its downright depressing. The interview was last week. It was probably one of my best interviews ever. I was relaxed. I was cool and collected. I rocked it. They had to decide quickly and made a decision last Thursday. They didn't pick me. I sent a thank you email, the HR lady responded that she'd keep me in mind for any other positions that open up and she'd be more than willing to help me out. This is beyond frustrating. *insertbigsighhere*

The Skinny Rules. Krissie and some others have finished reading Bob Harper's The Skinny Rules. After seeing their results, I decided to check it out. It makes sense. A whole lot of sense. However, due to my limited income, I decided to make some of the changes that I can make easily without it affecting my grocery budget too much. I've seen small results in the last few days. I am at my lowest weight since before I got pregnant with my daughter over 5 years ago. I wore a shirt today that I've not been able to wear since college 8 years ago. I'm pretty pleased thus far.

accident

My kids and I were in an accident today. There was a black Yukon in front of me that had slowed down and stopped (I think the car in front of them was turning). I had slowed down to stop behind them. The car behind me, a blue Chevy Sonic (?), the lady wasn't paying attention and hit me. I hit the Yukon. Their cars were barely damaged. My radiator was punctured, fluid was leaking on the street. I couldn't open one of my back doors. When we hit, my seat leaned back. Thankfully the air bags didn't deploy. My kids were not hurt. I was not hurt. I have a headache and am sore where my seat belt lies, but considering? We are very blessed.

I was so frustrated with son #2 before this happened. We'd gone tot he library, which went well. Then to the store, because I had no bread, no cheese, and no milk. And if you have kids, you know that things won't go well for you if don't have those three items...at least in my house. Son #2 was challenging to say the least. He likes to push my buttons and I was at the point where he was going to spend some time in his room when we got home. We got in the car to go home and he's yelling, crying, and kicking my seat. I wanted nothing to do with him at that time. I actually thought the accident was my fault because I was so frustrated paying attention to him and trying to make sure he wasn't hitting his sister or something else. I honestly have no recollection of what really happened. At least the lady who hit me knew.

Now begins the hell of finding a new car. My car was a 1998...worth maybe $1,500. Because of my unemployed status, I can't afford a car payment. I hate car shopping. I miss my gay friend who helped me find this car, it was perfect for me. Even though it was "older", it was my dream car. I'd always wanted a station wagon. Hoping I might be find another one, but I'm not that lucky.

frustration

I haven't run since Sunday. Its been awhile since I've gone more than 4 days without a run. I miss it. I may be slow, but I miss the wind when I run. I miss seeing my running friends. I'm getting jealous of them all making running plans, knowing that I cannot join them.

I finally sucked it up and called my doctor's office. Made an appointment for Monday morning. Hopefully, I'll have some answers.

I was running alongside my son while he rode his bike (first week off training wheels!), and I could barely run. It was more of a hobble. Completely frustrated.

monday menu

this week will probably be a free for all in regards to food. its VBS week for the kids and I'm helping out all but Wednesday.

this is the "plan"...ha!
Monday: Chicken and stuffing
Tuesday: grilled cheese
Wednesday: pasta of some kind
Thursday: VBS dinner
Friday: burgers/hot dogs
Saturday: chicken something
Sunday: ?

5k on the runway

I woke up with my calf having almost NO pain. I was very relieved to say the least. So, got the kids up and we headed tot he airport for the race. I settled them in with a running friend's husband and son who agreed to watch them while I ran.

First mile went fairly easily, ran it in 10:59. I stopped for water right around the start of the 2nd mile, this one went a little slower at 11:28. the third mile was again 10:59 and finished the last tenth at a 10 min pace. I'm not sure what my final time was...somewhere between 34:27-35ish. There wasn't any chip timing. No PR, but considering the pain I've been in this week...I'm not complaining :)

test run

I've never run while hurt. I always gave up and took weeks off if necessary. A slight twinge, I didn't mind...but anything that actually hurt? I'd stop. Ever since I made my training plan, I had 2 miles scheduled for yesterday (just skipped the 4 miler earlier this week and the 45 min easy run). So, I went to the middle school that has a track and a playground so the kids could play while I ran.

I won't say it didn't hurt. It did. My right calf is so tight it unnerves me. But, considering that it hurt...my times weren't horrible. First mile in 12:42, second in 12:52. Probably faster than I should have gone, but it was "comfortable" considering. Stopped at good ole Walmart on the way home and got a foam roller. I have a feeling we'll be best friends.

Last night, however, I started freaking out because it was hurting worse. Every step I took, anytime I put weight on my right leg...it hurt. I've rested most of today and it feels better. I foam rolled some. Going to soak in a warm bath soon and roll it some more. I'll take some ibuprofen.

I'm nervous about the 5k tomorrow morning. I'm not going to bust my ass to get a PR like I had planned. I don't want to risk severe injury. I'll run at a comfortable pace for myself, whatever that may be and save another PR for another race.

rest days

I haven't run since Sunday, which frustrates me. But, with the pain in my right calf, I didn't want to chance it. Especially with the 5k on Sunday. I went to boot camp today and between today and Tuesday's workout, I've wanted to toss my cookies after. I assume its because I'm working hard, or maybe its those horrid froggy crunches and Mason twists he has us do? I do know that I can now do a regular plank for 30 seconds. When I started three weeks ago, I could barely do 10 seconds. I'll take improvement where I can get it.

After, I went and picked up my race packets for the Bluegrass 10,000 on July 4th and for the 5k on Sunday. Stopped at my friend's to test drive her foam roller on my calf. It hurt like hell, but made me feel so much better. Note to self: invest in foam roller pronto!

Hoping to get a short run in tomorrow morning, just to have done some cardio this week.

my running story

I don't normally tell this story when people ask me why I run. I don't want to think back to those days. I don't want to relive the moments that caused me to escape my house so I could be alone. But, sometimes it is good to reflect and see how far you've come.

Around the winter of 2008-2009, my marriage was in shambles. Some my fault, a lot his fault. But when something ends, its easy to play the blame game. It got to the point where I did not want to be in the house when he was home. As soon as the kids went to bed, I was out the door to walk if he was home. I started calling my friends and talking to them while I was walking. They all gave me various advice on my life and a distraction from what was really going on. I played the game well, that nothing was wrong with marriage, that I was happy, that I was in love still. None of that was true. I was depressed. I hated my life. I loved my kids, but I hated that this was ruining their childhood. I am thankful they were all still little and most likely would have no remembrance of the situation.

So I started walking. I walked a lot. I did the Shamrock Shuffle 3k in March 2009, which was part way through my first time of Couch to 5k. I finished in 33:39, I ran a short part of it with my friend Jodi.

I finished Couch to 5k and did my first 5k on May 23, 2009. I finished in 45:53, I was disappointed in my time, but happy that I finished. It was one of those May days where it was around 80 degrees at 8am when the race started. I had not run much in hot weather, since I usually stuck to running after 8-9pm at night. I walked more than ran, but I did it. I had reached my goal. Here is a picture of me from that day (ironically, I'm wearing the same shirt today).

I stopped running after that. I had gone back to school and didn't really "make" the time to run. I was still walking a lot though. I took a year off from running. In this time, ex-husband left. I was on my own. I went back to work. Between working full time, school full time, and kids full time? there wasn't much time for anything else.

I did the Shamrock Shuffle 3k again in 2010 with a time of 38:11. I had gotten sick the night before and wasn't going to go, but a friend had asked me to pick up their packet. I went into Lexington and decided I might as well walk it. I was the last person in. As soon as I got home, I promptly threw up.

I tried to start back running after the 2010 race. I had a knee injury in 2004, that causes my patella (knee cap) to sublux (pop out, then back in). It still does on occasion. Right after I started running, I had it happen and I could barely get off the floor, this was in June 2010. I gave myself two weeks to recover from that, then I sprained my foot at work and was put on light duty for almost two months. When I was finally able to run again, I went out too fast and pulled my piriformis. I gave up for the winter and decided I'd start again in the spring. 

I did the Shamrock Shuffle again in 2011. This time, I ran it. The whole thing (sure it is only 1.8 miles, but still!), without having run at all. I finished in 25:56.

I think running that whole race really saved me. on June 13th, 2011 I started Couch to 5k again. I completed it. I took the time between when I got off work and when class started and I ran. I never ran a 5k after finishing it. I know, that finding out a friend from high school who was a few weeks ahead of me in C25k really helped me stay with it.

Then I met someone in my nursing class who was a part of this awesome running group (who I'd run with once in spring 2010 I think). She convinced me to come out for a group run. I was the slowest, but it was okay. I found that running with a group was contagious. I finally broke the 3 mile barrier and ran 5 miles on November 12th. On November 19th, I joined a group that was running over the future RunTheBluegrass course. I ran 8.5 miles that day. I hurt horribly the rest of the day. I hadn't run at all in between those runs and jumping from 5 to 8.5 miles? was just too much. I decided around that time to register for my first half marathon. It had been 2.5 years since I'd done any race over a 3k. It was probably crazy. But I registered.

I did the Shamrock Shuffle yet again in 2011. This time I ran it in 22:23, taking 3.5 minutes off my time from 2010. I was stoked, especially since I did it 4 days post-op from wisdom tooth removal.

I completed the half marathon. I did it. Sure, I had problems during it. But...I DID IT. And registered for another.

I guess this all hit me today, its National Running Day. And I cannot run today. I'm having pain in my right calf and taking it easy. I will hopefully be running to first base during softball tonight, but anything longer than that, I'm taking the day off. 

I believe that running saved me. It saved me from depression. It saved me from loneliness. Running gave me a whole new group of friends who "get" me and my craziness for needing to run. Running gave me a new lease on life. It allowed me to enjoy all the things I once did: softball, hiking, and in general just being outside. Running helped me to become the me I was before I got married. I can honestly say, that I'm thankful for the bad parts of my life because if they hadn't happened, I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't have graduated from nursing school. I wouldn't have completed a half marathon. I know that for a fact. I love the life that running has given back to me.

training thoughts

I mentioned in one of the last posts that after the Iron Horse Half Marathon in October, I'll be backing off from long distance racing. There are many reasons why. I have the endurance to do it. I know I can do it. I have done it. I had thought of contemplating a marathon before my 30th birthday next year (2013), but being as I'm a single parent...long runs are hard enough when training for a half.

so some of my reasons include:

• ex-husband is about 95% sure he's being deployed in September, which will make it hard to even finish up my training for the half I've already registered for
• I don't have a significant other supporting me. I cannot just leave my kids and go run, they are too young.
• I honestly love 5k's more than anything
• I want to work more at getting faster than work on distance. Distance is something I can always add in later.
• It's easier to find someone to watch my kids for less than an hour to run, if ex-husband gets deployed than it would be for 3+ hours
• I don't know what my work schedule will be like and since I'm the only one picking kids up most likely come fall, I'll be the only one focusing on homework, etc... and all three kids will be in school (preschool, 1st, and 3rd)

there are others, but those are the main ones. so my goals for the rest of the year are to do a 5k (or other race a month) and I'd like to lose 30 lbs by the end of the year, which would still put me 10 lbs shy of my goal weight.

Races that I'm registered for or plan to register for. I am thankful for a great running community where I could find a race almost any weekend I wanted to.

June 10: United Way 5k on the Runway (goal time sub 33 min)
July 4: Bluegrass 10,000 (goal time 1:10:00)
August 11: Midsummer Night's Run 5k
September: ?
October 14: Iron Horse Half Marathon
November: ?
December: ?