Friday, March 29, 2013

and a diagnosis. finally.

Saw the new doctor on Tuesday (it's taken this long to get here as my darling girl keeps face planting and we spent some time at the ER today).

his thoughts...

  • hamstring tendinitis
  • pes anserine bursitis
  • IT band problems

plan is to

  • take methylprednisolone (a corticosteroid, to decrease inflammation), 6 day dosing
  • take naproxen twice a day for 2 weeks, then prn after that
  • start PT which will include ionotopheresis to both my hamstring tendon and my IT band as well as the usual hamstring, IT band, etc... exercises. first appointment is April 10th
  • go back to the doctor on May 28th

future running plans?

  • no running still for at least 2-3 more months, maybe longer. depends on how my body reacts to meds and PT
  • no long distances until I'm in an average weight range. I need to lose about 50ish pounds for that. 
  •  when I return to running, I can still do about 15-20 miles/week but have to break it up in 2-5 different runs. nothing more than 5 miles in one run. 
  • focus on intensity. maybe there is a sub-30 5k in there for me?

so that's that. very happy to have a plan in place. it sure beats being blown off by some orthopedic fellow who doesn't know what he's talking about and told me never to run again. so for now, there's hope. I can deal with that.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

busy busy busy

I started a new class this week for my BSN called Leadership and Management. If you knew me, you'd probably laugh at me taking such a course. I'm hardly what one would call a leader. I can manage and follow...but I'd rather be behind the scenes.  I was dreading starting a new course. I enjoyed my week off entirely too much. I read probably five "junk novels" as my brothers used to call them. It was amazing. I really need to make time for that more often.

I have been so busy lately with the kids. It has been crazy, but I honestly wouldn't change it for anything. I have loved seeing them have some new experiences and trying new things.  Things at home have been better for them, with their behavior.  Maybe they were bored? I don't know.

But seeing how much #2 has started to love soccer, really makes me happy. I had always hoped one of  my kids would like it, I LOVED soccer growing up, 1/3 kids isn't so bad.  #1 has started participating in a boy's running club at school for 3rd-5th graders. It has given him a lot more self confidence. He is really proud of himself. It helps that he has several friends in the group as well. I think this will be better for him than basketball. It doesn't hurt that I like running more than basketball...

Poor girl child though, she's kind of left out now with no activities. I don't have much more time to add anything else in our schedule. We have been working on reading and she is picking it up very quickly. She had a concert at school with her preschool class last week and she rocked it. She told me after that she didn't want to do it, but she knew she just had to get up there and do it. It was seriously adorable to watch them all do their songs and dances. I'm almost dreading her going to kindergarten...she's already so "grown up" that I'm not ready for her to actually grow up.

The job situation still just sucks. I had a really promising interview, sounded like the job was mine. Well, looks like they hired someone else. I am almost ready to just give up on nursing in general. How am I supposed to use life application in my BSN classes, when I'm the only person in my cohort that isn't practicing as a nurse. Sigh. Someday. Right?

There are a lot of other things I cannot post about that are weighing heavily on my mind. It is family related and due to privacy, I will not share. Prayers are appreciated in that direction though. I love my family and would do anything for them.

It is looking like my ex-husband might be coming back sometime the end of June. Though it could be anywhere from the beginning of June to the end of July. I jokingly tell him that if he doesn't come back until July that I am running away. I will go away for awhile. I feel I deserve that after 10ish months of being an only parent. I know I am a single mom. I did bare the brunt of their care even when he was here. But him being gone, I lost my time to see my friends. Though it has helped me to focus more on the kids, which I needed to do.

Then there's the knee. It's doing ok, still hurts. I have an appointment on the 26th for a 2nd opinion. The doctor I'll be seeing is in charge of a Running Clinic. Even if he gives me the same diagnosis that "nothing is wrong with me"...I'm hoping that he'll give me a way to manage the pain I do have. I find it ridiculous that I can't even run around kicking a soccer ball with my son without my knee hurting. I just want to be able to do normal activities. I don't think that is asking too much. I want to be able to work a 12-hour shift without having pain.

I feel that this last year has really taken a toll on me. I lost my job almost 11 months ago. I lost my "me" time in September when my ex deployed. I lost running which was my only stress relief in November when I was told not to run because of my knee. I feel like I've lost my friends.  If that doesn't make a person depressed, then hell...I don't know what would. I'm starting to lose hope that I'll ever run again pain free. Losing hope that I will ever work as an RN.

It's not like anyone reads this, but if you do...sorry for the lengthy mumbling.

bucket list

I've been thinking a lot lately about things I'd love to complete, probably before I turn that gives me 20 years and a few months. I gave up a lot of myself when I got married and am slowly returning to "me".

  • do a half ironman. 
    • plans for this summer 2014 with my friends Jodi and Robin. yikes.
  • run a marathon
    • no current plans, but if/when...I want to do one that is in some really cool location
  • visit Europe
    • specifically England, Ireland, Germany, Austria, Italy, and Greece
  • go to Canada
    • Niagara Falls doesn't count. 
  • visit all 50 states
    • I've been to 24 so far, hoping to hit at least two new states this year
  • take a balloon ride
  • see the Pacific Ocean
  • go to India 
  • play soccer again recreationally

that's it for now. interesting how most of my list is focused on traveling. I'd love to see the world.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

planning for the future

back in December, I registered for the Run the Bluegrass Rookie 7 miler. It will be the first race I DNS. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do it anyway, but a friend gave me a code that made the registration free. So I'm not out any money, which is good.

This week I registered for the Iron Horse Half Marathon in October. This was the last half marathon I did. I also bought new running capris and a long sleeve shirt at the local running store's winter sale. I am trying to have hope that I'll be able to train for this race. Sure, with a basic half marathon plan I wouldn't start until July 28th. But after what looks like almost 4+ months off from running, I have no base. None. It is gone. I'll have to start up again from the beginning. So that means, hoping I'll be running by the beginning of June. That's only 3 months from now. That scares me. I honestly don't know if I can do it. I paid the lowest cost for registration since I registered on opening day. If I have to transfer, I can do that.

So, those are my plans. As little as they are.

Friday, March 1, 2013

getting sick of it

I went to the doctor on Wednesday. I had high hopes. I mean, I was seeing the head orthopedic physician for the University of Kentucky Wildcats...he had to be good, right? I was sorely disappointed. Maybe as a healthcare worker, I expect too much.

I arrived early for my appointment at 8:30. About 9ish, they call me back for x-rays (and the positions they had to put me in for those...oh holy OUCH!). I go back and sit in the waiting room with my daughter as she didn't have school. And we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, around 10:15 I was brought back to a patient room, where I talked with the Sports Medicine Fellow for this doctor. He hadn't looked at my MRI or my x-rays yet, but would look at them with the attending. He asked very little about my injury and did a very brief examination (less thorough than the Internal Medicine doctor and Physical Therapists I have seen). He left. Came back with the attending physician, who walked in (without introducing himself), put his arm around me and says, "we're going to fix your knee."

His idea of fixing it was giving me a cortisone injection. He said there is nothing wrong with my knee. I asked him about the MRI results and what the report said. He said "they don't know what they're talking about, the cartilage under your knee is worn down, nothing we could do surgery on" and walked out of the room.

The Fellow and someone else started preparing for the cortisone injection. WHICH, I might add, they never even asked if I wanted. I didn't mind getting it, but I'd rather give permission to someone before they stick a sharp object into my joint. The Fellow didn't even want to answer my questions. They gave me NO information on the injection. I knew some about it, I had one almost 9 years ago in my other knee. But, you forget stuff over 9 years.

I asked him when I could run again. He said I should give it 1-2 weeks, but he didn't recommend me running at all. "Why don't you use the bike or elliptical, running is bad for you." Say, what? Since when? If there is nothing wrong with my knee, then how could running be bad for me?

I got the injection. Asked him what I should do if it doesn't work (my injection 9 years ago, lasted a whopping 3 days..woo! they're supposed to last at least a few weeks). He said to call them and they'd have me come back in. Though I won't let them do another shot. at all.

So here I am, 2.5 days post injection. STILL have pain. I spent the rest of Wednesday in my bed, except when I took the kids out for dinner. I hurt so bad I didn't even want to stand up and cook. If I had to move my leg, I had to literally pick it up with my hands and move it. That is how bad that injection hurt. I took some Naproxen for it, which helped a little. Thursday was a little better, still pain. When I walked down the stairs, I couldn't bend that knee. I had to keep it straight. Always fun. Today is a teensy bit better, not much though. It still hurts, not so much the injection...but how my knee always hurts. So much for that crap. Looks like I'll be calling them back on Monday to tell them this lovely injection didn't do shit.

On another note, I scheduled an appointment with a different doctor in the practice for a second opinion on March 26th. When I called, the scheduler said there was only one other doctor who could see "my problem." Again, what problem? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY KNEE,RIGHT? I am getting beyond mad and frustrated at this doctor and fellow that I saw.

The kicker of it all is when I looked at my discharge sheet. The carbon copy one where they mark down what they did and the diagnosis. They checked on there: medical meniscus tear. Really? Were they going to tell me about that?