Monday, August 5, 2013

thirty. 3-0. THIRTY.

so I turn thirty on Friday. how the hell did that happen? unlike a lot of people, I'm looking forward to my 30's.

my 20's weren't bad, really.  I received two college degrees. I gave birth to 3 children. I moved to KY (which I looooove). I made some awesome friends.

however, other than that my personal life has been hell. I got divorced. I've been single for about 4 years (not complaining). I haven't had a date in over a year. I never dreamed I'd be turning 30 and unemployed. sigh.

goals for my 30's
  • finish my BSN (estimated- spring 2014)
  • lose 50 lbs
  • find a job
  • be more involved in the kid's schools (PTO, SBDM)
  • be more involved in church (vestry maybe this year. yikes)
  • be more consistent in my eating habits and have them compliment my exercise habits instead of exercising so I can eat junk
  • go on more dates
  • teach my kids to play the piano

that's it for now, but I'm sure I'll come up with more eventually.

Friday, July 19, 2013


I've never been a fan of writing, but I did want to chronicle my journey back to running after injury. Because injuries just plain suck. Not running sucks even more. Then having to start back at square one bites the big one.

So Couch to 5k is going pretty well. I've finished week 5. I did extra days in week 1, took a day off in week 2. It's evened out pretty well.

The 20 minute run at the end of week five scared the bejeezus out of me. I hadn't run 20 minutes straight probably since the half marathon on October 13th. That is a long, long time. The temperature was 80 F, 90% humidity at 8am when I set out to run. When I walked out the door, I could just feel the mugginess. It was horrid. I am not a fan of summer. Never have been. Bring on the 20-30 degree runs. I'm all over those. BUT, I did it. I sucked it up. I took my time. I did it. I paused for a few seconds to stick my head under the sprinkler in front of the little retirement community by my house. Got home and I was drenched in sweat. I cannot remember another time where I dripped sweat like that. It was a good feeling.

As for how my knee/leg feels? My IT band is sore most days. I stretch it. I should ice it more. Starting to foam roll it. I've been having a weird pain in my right heel. Though it doesn't hurt when I run. So, I haven't worried too much about that.

Overall, I feel pretty good about how the recovery has been going. I haven't run more than twice a week. Though, I'm going to attempt that next week...just to see how it goes. If it bothers me, then I'll stick to twice a week. No shame in that whatsoever. I want to be able to run and if it means running only two days a week, I'm cool with that. I'm happy just to be running again.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

C25k W1D1

walk 5 minutes. run 60 seconds. briskly walk 90 seconds. repeat 8 times. walk 5 minutes.

Overall pace: 14:17
Overall distance: 1.99 miles
Time: 28:30
Calories: 288

for just the intervals (cut out warm up/cool down)
Pace: 12:46
Distance: 1.45 miles
Time: 18:30

70 degrees at start, breezy. Wore new nike running capris (purple) and LRL superwoman shirt. injinji socks. Brooks Adrenaline 13.

Felt good. Only thing hurting right now is my skinned knee from yesterday's clumsiness. Quads were on fire while running, but feel good now.

Friday, May 17, 2013


There has not been much to post. I have been going to physical therapy since April 10th. I was seeing S, who I had seen a few times back in December. However, due to things at the hospital the company that hired the physical therapists did not have their contract renewed. So, I ended up seeing J in the beginning of May. Holy, crazy. It seemed like she was running around like a chicken with her head cut off.  She did not seem to know what she was doing. Granted, it was only her second day in this building.  She was on vacation last week so I saw K. He was AWESOME. For real. Finally, someone figured out why I was still having pain in my leg every day. My pain was always about a 3/10 on the pain scale. It did not matter what I did, the pain remained.  He figured out that my fibula was pressing on the tibial nerve.  All the other problems that were going on caused my leg to compensate and I guess I was walking differently which caused the bone to rub the nerve.  So, he used tape to pull the bone away from the nerve. For the first time in almost 6 months, I had no pain. None.  I did squats on the bosu ball, pain. It was amazing.

So that is where I stand. We are taping two days on, one day off. I was discharged from physical therapy today.  I go back to the orthopedic/sports med doctor on May 28th. I am really hoping now that I have little to no pain, instead of consistent pain, that I am given clearance to run.

I know that I will not be able to do any long distances for quite a while. I am okay with that. I sold my bib for the Iron Horse Half Marathon yesterday, it saddened me to do so...but I know it is for my health that will not be able to do it. Maybe next year...

So, while I wait to go back to the doctor this is what I am doing: leg raises (20 each side), side leg lifts (20 each side), prone leg lifts (lie on stomach lift legs, 20 each side), squats (3 sets of 12), monster walk with green tubing, side to side walking with green tubing, IT band stretches (3 sets of 30 seconds each), soleus stretching (3 sets of 20 seconds each), hamstring curls while sitting (3 sets of 20, both sides).  I am also part of a group that does planks and push ups each day, this month we are doing two sets of 18 push ups and two- one minute planks (one day 115ish of doing them!).

If I am able to run again, my goal is to do the Midsummer Night Run on August 10th, the day after my 30th birthday.

Friday, March 29, 2013

and a diagnosis. finally.

Saw the new doctor on Tuesday (it's taken this long to get here as my darling girl keeps face planting and we spent some time at the ER today).

his thoughts...

  • hamstring tendinitis
  • pes anserine bursitis
  • IT band problems

plan is to

  • take methylprednisolone (a corticosteroid, to decrease inflammation), 6 day dosing
  • take naproxen twice a day for 2 weeks, then prn after that
  • start PT which will include ionotopheresis to both my hamstring tendon and my IT band as well as the usual hamstring, IT band, etc... exercises. first appointment is April 10th
  • go back to the doctor on May 28th

future running plans?

  • no running still for at least 2-3 more months, maybe longer. depends on how my body reacts to meds and PT
  • no long distances until I'm in an average weight range. I need to lose about 50ish pounds for that. 
  •  when I return to running, I can still do about 15-20 miles/week but have to break it up in 2-5 different runs. nothing more than 5 miles in one run. 
  • focus on intensity. maybe there is a sub-30 5k in there for me?

so that's that. very happy to have a plan in place. it sure beats being blown off by some orthopedic fellow who doesn't know what he's talking about and told me never to run again. so for now, there's hope. I can deal with that.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

busy busy busy

I started a new class this week for my BSN called Leadership and Management. If you knew me, you'd probably laugh at me taking such a course. I'm hardly what one would call a leader. I can manage and follow...but I'd rather be behind the scenes.  I was dreading starting a new course. I enjoyed my week off entirely too much. I read probably five "junk novels" as my brothers used to call them. It was amazing. I really need to make time for that more often.

I have been so busy lately with the kids. It has been crazy, but I honestly wouldn't change it for anything. I have loved seeing them have some new experiences and trying new things.  Things at home have been better for them, with their behavior.  Maybe they were bored? I don't know.

But seeing how much #2 has started to love soccer, really makes me happy. I had always hoped one of  my kids would like it, I LOVED soccer growing up, 1/3 kids isn't so bad.  #1 has started participating in a boy's running club at school for 3rd-5th graders. It has given him a lot more self confidence. He is really proud of himself. It helps that he has several friends in the group as well. I think this will be better for him than basketball. It doesn't hurt that I like running more than basketball...

Poor girl child though, she's kind of left out now with no activities. I don't have much more time to add anything else in our schedule. We have been working on reading and she is picking it up very quickly. She had a concert at school with her preschool class last week and she rocked it. She told me after that she didn't want to do it, but she knew she just had to get up there and do it. It was seriously adorable to watch them all do their songs and dances. I'm almost dreading her going to kindergarten...she's already so "grown up" that I'm not ready for her to actually grow up.

The job situation still just sucks. I had a really promising interview, sounded like the job was mine. Well, looks like they hired someone else. I am almost ready to just give up on nursing in general. How am I supposed to use life application in my BSN classes, when I'm the only person in my cohort that isn't practicing as a nurse. Sigh. Someday. Right?

There are a lot of other things I cannot post about that are weighing heavily on my mind. It is family related and due to privacy, I will not share. Prayers are appreciated in that direction though. I love my family and would do anything for them.

It is looking like my ex-husband might be coming back sometime the end of June. Though it could be anywhere from the beginning of June to the end of July. I jokingly tell him that if he doesn't come back until July that I am running away. I will go away for awhile. I feel I deserve that after 10ish months of being an only parent. I know I am a single mom. I did bare the brunt of their care even when he was here. But him being gone, I lost my time to see my friends. Though it has helped me to focus more on the kids, which I needed to do.

Then there's the knee. It's doing ok, still hurts. I have an appointment on the 26th for a 2nd opinion. The doctor I'll be seeing is in charge of a Running Clinic. Even if he gives me the same diagnosis that "nothing is wrong with me"...I'm hoping that he'll give me a way to manage the pain I do have. I find it ridiculous that I can't even run around kicking a soccer ball with my son without my knee hurting. I just want to be able to do normal activities. I don't think that is asking too much. I want to be able to work a 12-hour shift without having pain.

I feel that this last year has really taken a toll on me. I lost my job almost 11 months ago. I lost my "me" time in September when my ex deployed. I lost running which was my only stress relief in November when I was told not to run because of my knee. I feel like I've lost my friends.  If that doesn't make a person depressed, then hell...I don't know what would. I'm starting to lose hope that I'll ever run again pain free. Losing hope that I will ever work as an RN.

It's not like anyone reads this, but if you do...sorry for the lengthy mumbling.

bucket list

I've been thinking a lot lately about things I'd love to complete, probably before I turn that gives me 20 years and a few months. I gave up a lot of myself when I got married and am slowly returning to "me".

  • do a half ironman. 
    • plans for this summer 2014 with my friends Jodi and Robin. yikes.
  • run a marathon
    • no current plans, but if/when...I want to do one that is in some really cool location
  • visit Europe
    • specifically England, Ireland, Germany, Austria, Italy, and Greece
  • go to Canada
    • Niagara Falls doesn't count. 
  • visit all 50 states
    • I've been to 24 so far, hoping to hit at least two new states this year
  • take a balloon ride
  • see the Pacific Ocean
  • go to India 
  • play soccer again recreationally

that's it for now. interesting how most of my list is focused on traveling. I'd love to see the world.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

planning for the future

back in December, I registered for the Run the Bluegrass Rookie 7 miler. It will be the first race I DNS. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do it anyway, but a friend gave me a code that made the registration free. So I'm not out any money, which is good.

This week I registered for the Iron Horse Half Marathon in October. This was the last half marathon I did. I also bought new running capris and a long sleeve shirt at the local running store's winter sale. I am trying to have hope that I'll be able to train for this race. Sure, with a basic half marathon plan I wouldn't start until July 28th. But after what looks like almost 4+ months off from running, I have no base. None. It is gone. I'll have to start up again from the beginning. So that means, hoping I'll be running by the beginning of June. That's only 3 months from now. That scares me. I honestly don't know if I can do it. I paid the lowest cost for registration since I registered on opening day. If I have to transfer, I can do that.

So, those are my plans. As little as they are.

Friday, March 1, 2013

getting sick of it

I went to the doctor on Wednesday. I had high hopes. I mean, I was seeing the head orthopedic physician for the University of Kentucky Wildcats...he had to be good, right? I was sorely disappointed. Maybe as a healthcare worker, I expect too much.

I arrived early for my appointment at 8:30. About 9ish, they call me back for x-rays (and the positions they had to put me in for those...oh holy OUCH!). I go back and sit in the waiting room with my daughter as she didn't have school. And we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, around 10:15 I was brought back to a patient room, where I talked with the Sports Medicine Fellow for this doctor. He hadn't looked at my MRI or my x-rays yet, but would look at them with the attending. He asked very little about my injury and did a very brief examination (less thorough than the Internal Medicine doctor and Physical Therapists I have seen). He left. Came back with the attending physician, who walked in (without introducing himself), put his arm around me and says, "we're going to fix your knee."

His idea of fixing it was giving me a cortisone injection. He said there is nothing wrong with my knee. I asked him about the MRI results and what the report said. He said "they don't know what they're talking about, the cartilage under your knee is worn down, nothing we could do surgery on" and walked out of the room.

The Fellow and someone else started preparing for the cortisone injection. WHICH, I might add, they never even asked if I wanted. I didn't mind getting it, but I'd rather give permission to someone before they stick a sharp object into my joint. The Fellow didn't even want to answer my questions. They gave me NO information on the injection. I knew some about it, I had one almost 9 years ago in my other knee. But, you forget stuff over 9 years.

I asked him when I could run again. He said I should give it 1-2 weeks, but he didn't recommend me running at all. "Why don't you use the bike or elliptical, running is bad for you." Say, what? Since when? If there is nothing wrong with my knee, then how could running be bad for me?

I got the injection. Asked him what I should do if it doesn't work (my injection 9 years ago, lasted a whopping 3 days..woo! they're supposed to last at least a few weeks). He said to call them and they'd have me come back in. Though I won't let them do another shot. at all.

So here I am, 2.5 days post injection. STILL have pain. I spent the rest of Wednesday in my bed, except when I took the kids out for dinner. I hurt so bad I didn't even want to stand up and cook. If I had to move my leg, I had to literally pick it up with my hands and move it. That is how bad that injection hurt. I took some Naproxen for it, which helped a little. Thursday was a little better, still pain. When I walked down the stairs, I couldn't bend that knee. I had to keep it straight. Always fun. Today is a teensy bit better, not much though. It still hurts, not so much the injection...but how my knee always hurts. So much for that crap. Looks like I'll be calling them back on Monday to tell them this lovely injection didn't do shit.

On another note, I scheduled an appointment with a different doctor in the practice for a second opinion on March 26th. When I called, the scheduler said there was only one other doctor who could see "my problem." Again, what problem? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY KNEE,RIGHT? I am getting beyond mad and frustrated at this doctor and fellow that I saw.

The kicker of it all is when I looked at my discharge sheet. The carbon copy one where they mark down what they did and the diagnosis. They checked on there: medical meniscus tear. Really? Were they going to tell me about that?

Saturday, February 23, 2013

results are in...

From the letter they mailed me, these are the results of the MRI.

The menisci are of normal signal and configuration without evidence for tear.
The ACL, PCL,MCL, and lateral collateral complex and extensor mechanism of the knee are intact. The popliteus tendon is intact.
No Fracture, AVN or osteochondral defect. There is horizontal orientation of the trochlea with lateral subluxation and tilting of the patella. The TT-TG is approximately 2cm. There is no edema in the infrapatellar fat. The articular cartilage is maintained tricompartmentally.
There is no joint effusion. There is a small popliteal cyst which extends superiorly. There is no muscle strain.
Impression: Menisci and ligaments intact. Abnormal trochlear configuration with lateral patellar subluxation and tilting. TT-TG of 2 cm.

so basically, my kneecap is sitting out of joint (displaced they told me on the phone) and is tilted. I have a cyst in the back of my knee.

there you have it. all those lovely words up there scored me a referral to a sports med doctor on Feb 27th. found out he's the chair of the department, so at least I know he knows his shit, right?

can it be Wednesday yet?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

knee, MRI, and Lent...oh my!

I was finally able to schedule an MRI on my knee, that will take place tomorrow. I am really hoping some kind of answer comes from this. I need an answer.  There really aren't any good answers though that come after 3 months of knee pain, so I'm preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.  Sometimes being a nurse and having a degree in athletic training...I know too much.

Lent also starts tomorrow. Up until about 5 years ago, I really had no idea what Lent was. I had heard people mentioning they would give things up for Lent, but I did not grow up in a church where Lent was really observed.

I've been thinking hard about what to give up.  I've already given up soda this year.  Chocolate/sweets aren't really hard for me to give up nor is alcohol. 

I have been doing some emotional eating lately. A lot of stress with the kids. With still being unemployed. Not having answers about my knee. I've been hitting the fast food/junk a lot lately. Another friend posted that he was giving up "No more drive through dining. If it isn't worth getting out of the car for, it isn't worth eating."  I think I'll go with that. I don't know if I can give up my unsweet tea, but I'll make more of an effort to brew my own or buy it at the store instead of swinging through McD's (damn them being 1/4 mile from my house). However, if I am going inside, I will sit and eat. I will not buy from the drive thru.  This will include our weekly pizza nights (with movie!). I will be making the pizza at home.

I'd also like to DO something for Lent as well.  I'm making more of an effort to volunteer, especially in my kid's classrooms. They enjoy me coming in and their teachers are extremely appreciative. If I am to be unemployed, I will make use of my time. I will put it toward serving others as much as my schedule allows. 

I will also be cutting down on my Twitter usage. I took about a week break after realizing who my true friends are. I can handle that, but I was getting depressed about it. I don't need that in my life. As much as I enjoy Twitter, my emotional health is not worth it.

So there you have it.

Monday, January 7, 2013

back to menu plannning

I've been really bad about planning meals. Especially healthy meals. This past weekend really opened my eyes when we were eating quickly and I defrosted the wrong thing. sigh. too much eating out at this house.

So tonight, I went to Pinterest. Where all my good food ideas come from usually. On my menu this week:

Tuesday: Easy and Creamy White Chicken Enchiladas. no clue if my kids will like them, but they'll be SOL if they don't. we won't eat this many, so will cook in two separate pans. one for us, one for my friend having chemo this week

Wednesday: Parmesan Crusted Tilapia. kids loooove tilapia. so this should be a hit. going to make with The Best Broccoli of Your Life

Thursday: Weight Watchers Honey Mustard Chicken. not doing because it is weight watchers, just sounds good. will make with cous cous or quinoa. need to find a good carrot recipe...

Friday: pizza and a movie night. making an Angry Bird themed pizza. kids have been begging me to do this.

Saturday: pasta alfredo. box and jar. I know, I know...but I need to use up what is in the house. will make a salad.

will also be making some other easy to freeze meals for my friend. she mentioned buying frozen meals at the store and I just can't let that happen. I'm more than happy to cook for her.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year and update

Update first: went to the doctor on December 13th. still no change. waiting for insurance stuff to be figured out so I can get an MRI. no more PT, doing exercises at home instead. still in pain most days, not as severe as it was...but it is still there.

New Year Goals:
  1. Lose 30 by 30. My 30th birthday is August 9th. I'd like to lose 30 lbs by that time. I still wouldn't be at my goal, but well toward it. That means to lose a little less than a pound a week. I can do this.
  2. Be more consistent about logging my food. I really fell off the wagon when my knee started hurting. 
  3. Run again. Pain free, preferably.
  4. Volunteer at 6 races this year. I'd like to say 12, but that might be pushing it. 
  5. Find a job I love.
  6. Do more cross training, especially since I still cannot run.
  7. Send birthday cards to my nieces and nephews.

that's it for now, may update when I think of more.