Wednesday, April 16, 2014

My daughter and I

There are many reasons I don't like this picture. However, there are more reasons why I love it.  I want to end on a positive note, so I'll start with the negative.

I don't like how I look.  I hated the the finish time.  I got frustrated with my daughter because of how much we had to walk.

On the flip side, I loved the time I got to spend with her. 53 solid minutes of just talking with my best girl. She finished her first 5k and her only real complaint was there was nowhere to nap during the race. I love that I am showing her how to live an active life. She (and my boys) knows that mom runs. I love the fact that she was so excited about her medal. I love how happy I look in the picture.

I think back on the relationship I had with my mom when I was younger and I want to do better.  I love my mom and we get along okay, but I want to be better about being there for my daughter and letting her know that I will always listen to her.  Spending this time with her during the 5k, I think was the start of that. We talked about everything from school, to the boys, her dad, her friends, etc... It really has been one of the highlights of her young life for me. I know we will always do this.

My mother does not exercise, she'll go for a walk every once in a blue moon. As a kid, I never saw her take that time for herself.  My mother was overweight, as am I now.  After I had kids, she always told me "well, I was only 125lbs after having 5 kids."  It was like she stabbed me with a knife, saying "HA! I had 2 more kids than you and I weighed less!"  Like it was some kind of contest.  It isn't a contest. I'm doing with my life what I need to so that I can be healthy and able to keep up with my kids. A lot of my body image issues have come from my mother and her own. I know better, so I'm doing better.

I'm sure a lot of that is rambling, but I want my kids (especially my daughter) to see how important it is to take care of yourself and how to view yourself properly. While I may be "fat", my daughter will never hear me say that about myself.

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