Sunday, March 17, 2013

bucket list

I've been thinking a lot lately about things I'd love to complete, probably before I turn 50...so that gives me 20 years and a few months. I gave up a lot of myself when I got married and am slowly returning to "me".

  • do a half ironman. 
    • plans for this summer 2014 with my friends Jodi and Robin. yikes.
  • run a marathon
    • no current plans, but if/when...I want to do one that is in some really cool location
  • visit Europe
    • specifically England, Ireland, Germany, Austria, Italy, and Greece
  • go to Canada
    • Niagara Falls doesn't count. 
  • visit all 50 states
    • I've been to 24 so far, hoping to hit at least two new states this year
  • take a balloon ride
  • see the Pacific Ocean
  • go to India 
  • play soccer again recreationally

that's it for now. interesting how most of my list is focused on traveling. I'd love to see the world.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

planning for the future

back in December, I registered for the Run the Bluegrass Rookie 7 miler. It will be the first race I DNS. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do it anyway, but a friend gave me a code that made the registration free. So I'm not out any money, which is good.

This week I registered for the Iron Horse Half Marathon in October. This was the last half marathon I did. I also bought new running capris and a long sleeve shirt at the local running store's winter sale. I am trying to have hope that I'll be able to train for this race. Sure, with a basic half marathon plan I wouldn't start until July 28th. But after what looks like almost 4+ months off from running, I have no base. None. It is gone. I'll have to start up again from the beginning. So that means, hoping I'll be running by the beginning of June. That's only 3 months from now. That scares me. I honestly don't know if I can do it. I paid the lowest cost for registration since I registered on opening day. If I have to transfer, I can do that.

So, those are my plans. As little as they are.

Friday, March 1, 2013

getting sick of it

I went to the doctor on Wednesday. I had high hopes. I mean, I was seeing the head orthopedic physician for the University of Kentucky Wildcats...he had to be good, right? I was sorely disappointed. Maybe as a healthcare worker, I expect too much.

I arrived early for my appointment at 8:30. About 9ish, they call me back for x-rays (and the positions they had to put me in for those...oh holy OUCH!). I go back and sit in the waiting room with my daughter as she didn't have school. And we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, around 10:15 I was brought back to a patient room, where I talked with the Sports Medicine Fellow for this doctor. He hadn't looked at my MRI or my x-rays yet, but would look at them with the attending. He asked very little about my injury and did a very brief examination (less thorough than the Internal Medicine doctor and Physical Therapists I have seen). He left. Came back with the attending physician, who walked in (without introducing himself), put his arm around me and says, "we're going to fix your knee."

His idea of fixing it was giving me a cortisone injection. He said there is nothing wrong with my knee. I asked him about the MRI results and what the report said. He said "they don't know what they're talking about, the cartilage under your knee is worn down, nothing we could do surgery on" and walked out of the room.

The Fellow and someone else started preparing for the cortisone injection. WHICH, I might add, they never even asked if I wanted. I didn't mind getting it, but I'd rather give permission to someone before they stick a sharp object into my joint. The Fellow didn't even want to answer my questions. They gave me NO information on the injection. I knew some about it, I had one almost 9 years ago in my other knee. But, you forget stuff over 9 years.

I asked him when I could run again. He said I should give it 1-2 weeks, but he didn't recommend me running at all. "Why don't you use the bike or elliptical, running is bad for you." Say, what? Since when? If there is nothing wrong with my knee, then how could running be bad for me?

I got the injection. Asked him what I should do if it doesn't work (my injection 9 years ago, lasted a whopping 3 days..woo! they're supposed to last at least a few weeks). He said to call them and they'd have me come back in. Though I won't let them do another shot. at all.

So here I am, 2.5 days post injection. STILL have pain. I spent the rest of Wednesday in my bed, except when I took the kids out for dinner. I hurt so bad I didn't even want to stand up and cook. If I had to move my leg, I had to literally pick it up with my hands and move it. That is how bad that injection hurt. I took some Naproxen for it, which helped a little. Thursday was a little better, still pain. When I walked down the stairs, I couldn't bend that knee. I had to keep it straight. Always fun. Today is a teensy bit better, not much though. It still hurts, not so much the injection...but how my knee always hurts. So much for that crap. Looks like I'll be calling them back on Monday to tell them this lovely injection didn't do shit.

On another note, I scheduled an appointment with a different doctor in the practice for a second opinion on March 26th. When I called, the scheduler said there was only one other doctor who could see "my problem." Again, what problem? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY KNEE,RIGHT? I am getting beyond mad and frustrated at this doctor and fellow that I saw.

The kicker of it all is when I looked at my discharge sheet. The carbon copy one where they mark down what they did and the diagnosis. They checked on there: medical meniscus tear. Really? Were they going to tell me about that?

Saturday, February 23, 2013

results are in...

From the letter they mailed me, these are the results of the MRI.


The menisci are of normal signal and configuration without evidence for tear.
The ACL, PCL,MCL, and lateral collateral complex and extensor mechanism of the knee are intact. The popliteus tendon is intact.
No Fracture, AVN or osteochondral defect. There is horizontal orientation of the trochlea with lateral subluxation and tilting of the patella. The TT-TG is approximately 2cm. There is no edema in the infrapatellar fat. The articular cartilage is maintained tricompartmentally.
There is no joint effusion. There is a small popliteal cyst which extends superiorly. There is no muscle strain.
Impression: Menisci and ligaments intact. Abnormal trochlear configuration with lateral patellar subluxation and tilting. TT-TG of 2 cm.

so basically, my kneecap is sitting out of joint (displaced they told me on the phone) and is tilted. I have a cyst in the back of my knee.

there you have it. all those lovely words up there scored me a referral to a sports med doctor on Feb 27th. found out he's the chair of the department, so at least I know he knows his shit, right?

can it be Wednesday yet?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

knee, MRI, and Lent...oh my!

I was finally able to schedule an MRI on my knee, that will take place tomorrow. I am really hoping some kind of answer comes from this. I need an answer.  There really aren't any good answers though that come after 3 months of knee pain, so I'm preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.  Sometimes being a nurse and having a degree in athletic training...I know too much.

Lent also starts tomorrow. Up until about 5 years ago, I really had no idea what Lent was. I had heard people mentioning they would give things up for Lent, but I did not grow up in a church where Lent was really observed.

I've been thinking hard about what to give up.  I've already given up soda this year.  Chocolate/sweets aren't really hard for me to give up nor is alcohol. 

I have been doing some emotional eating lately. A lot of stress with the kids. With still being unemployed. Not having answers about my knee. I've been hitting the fast food/junk a lot lately. Another friend posted that he was giving up "No more drive through dining. If it isn't worth getting out of the car for, it isn't worth eating."  I think I'll go with that. I don't know if I can give up my unsweet tea, but I'll make more of an effort to brew my own or buy it at the store instead of swinging through McD's (damn them being 1/4 mile from my house). However, if I am going inside, I will sit and eat. I will not buy from the drive thru.  This will include our weekly pizza nights (with movie!). I will be making the pizza at home.

I'd also like to DO something for Lent as well.  I'm making more of an effort to volunteer, especially in my kid's classrooms. They enjoy me coming in and their teachers are extremely appreciative. If I am to be unemployed, I will make use of my time. I will put it toward serving others as much as my schedule allows. 

I will also be cutting down on my Twitter usage. I took about a week break after realizing who my true friends are. I can handle that, but I was getting depressed about it. I don't need that in my life. As much as I enjoy Twitter, my emotional health is not worth it.


So there you have it.

Monday, January 7, 2013

back to menu plannning

I've been really bad about planning meals. Especially healthy meals. This past weekend really opened my eyes when we were eating quickly and I defrosted the wrong thing. sigh. too much eating out at this house.

So tonight, I went to Pinterest. Where all my good food ideas come from usually. On my menu this week:

Tuesday: Easy and Creamy White Chicken Enchiladas. no clue if my kids will like them, but they'll be SOL if they don't. we won't eat this many, so will cook in two separate pans. one for us, one for my friend having chemo this week

Wednesday: Parmesan Crusted Tilapia. kids loooove tilapia. so this should be a hit. going to make with The Best Broccoli of Your Life

Thursday: Weight Watchers Honey Mustard Chicken. not doing because it is weight watchers, just sounds good. will make with cous cous or quinoa. need to find a good carrot recipe...

Friday: pizza and a movie night. making an Angry Bird themed pizza. kids have been begging me to do this.

Saturday: pasta alfredo. box and jar. I know, I know...but I need to use up what is in the house. will make a salad.

will also be making some other easy to freeze meals for my friend. she mentioned buying frozen meals at the store and I just can't let that happen. I'm more than happy to cook for her.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year and update

Update first: went to the doctor on December 13th. still no change. waiting for insurance stuff to be figured out so I can get an MRI. no more PT, doing exercises at home instead. still in pain most days, not as severe as it was...but it is still there.

New Year Goals:
  1. Lose 30 by 30. My 30th birthday is August 9th. I'd like to lose 30 lbs by that time. I still wouldn't be at my goal, but well toward it. That means to lose a little less than a pound a week. I can do this.
  2. Be more consistent about logging my food. I really fell off the wagon when my knee started hurting. 
  3. Run again. Pain free, preferably.
  4. Volunteer at 6 races this year. I'd like to say 12, but that might be pushing it. 
  5. Find a job I love.
  6. Do more cross training, especially since I still cannot run.
  7. Send birthday cards to my nieces and nephews.

that's it for now, may update when I think of more.