random thoughts

• for some reason lately I've been thinking of why my marriage ended. I know the reasons, but I wonder why it didn't end earlier. I guess I kind of held out hope that things would change. that he would change. I wonder how different my life would be if it had ended earlier.
• I really hate how my life still revolves around my ex-husband and his schedule. 
• being unemployed sucks. I miss work. I still see other adults, so I don't crave that time...but I miss feeling useful and like I'm helping someone.
• boot camp makes me run at a better training pace. it makes me run slower, which frustrates me, but is good for me
• I think after the half marathon in October, I'll only be doing 5k's for awhile. I just won't have the time to put in.
• I went to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel today. awesome movie. go see it.
• I sometimes wonder if I'll ever date again. I had made a goal at the beginning of the year to go on 2-3 dates this year (went on one last year). five months into the year and no dates in sight. don't even expect any.  
• I'm coming up on almost 3 years of being on my own and while I don't know if I'll ever get married again, it'd be nice to have someone.
• sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who worries about the kids and making sure they have a good childhood.